Moms Columns & Blogs

You Must Have This

I would imagine that since humanity began birthing children folks have been trying to sell all kinds of junk to soon-to-be and new parents.  I picture prehistoric cavemen trying to convince prehistoric cavewomen that they need some special umbilical cord cutting rock because it would practically be child abuse to use any old rock.  Because we tend to want the best, smartest, and healthiest kids we tend to be suckers for buying all manner of dumb children’s gadgets.

We’ve all heard horror stories about how hard it is for children to give up their pacifiers.  I’ve heard about tying the pacifier to a balloon, about visits from the “Binkie Fairy”, and all other sorts of desperate plans to get a kid off of this “baby crack”.  It thus surprises me that someone would try to market and sell (or that someone would buy) a WubbaNub-  a plush stuffed animal toy with a super cute name and a pacifier attached.  All the pleasure of weaning your child off of a pacifier combined with the pleasure of getting rid of a favorite stuffed animal all in one.  Brilliant!  It appears that even Denise Richards uses these (on her kids, I suppose) so that’s a ringing celebrity endorsement if ever there was one. 


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I’m embarrassed to confess here that my wife was wearing a hospital gown when my daughter was brought into the world.  The kinda first colors my daughter saw were clinical hospital bluish green- not Zoe pink and brown polka dot, which is only one of the many fabulous color and pattern choices that the “Gownies Delivery Gown” comes in.  I know my wife’s first concerns when it came to delivering a baby were that it would be “done in style” and that the gown would have a “soft satin trim”.   Don't look like a chump- your Kate Spade birthing bag is seriously lacking if you plan to head out the door to the hospital without this.  Hopefully it's machine washable!


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I remember the joy we used to feel before my daughter was born and my wife and I would sit around and see our child try to kick her way out.  I’m just glad it wasn’t MY kidneys getting kicked in there.  Anyway, our joy would have been seriously heightened had we purchased the KickTrak Counter.  Don’t misunderstand, I appreciate the importance of making sure your developing baby is moving- I simply question the need for a $40 device to tell you it’s kicking.  (I can also see this thing creating more concern... "According to this the baby only kicked 9 times in the last two hours but it should have been 10-  I'm calling the doctor!")


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There’s a whole host of other great things; unnecessary 3-D ultrasounds that can be framed (your kid looks like an alien) or timers to remind you how long it’s been since you’ve changed a diaper (here’s a hint, take a sniff).   The list goes on, but I don’t want to give away any gift surprises to any of my mom friends who might have become recently pregnant.