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Cupcakes

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October 2009

How do you convince a daddy that sometimes the best way to keep a child close is to let them go…a little?

We’ve faced many ‘firsts’, but this one was wholly unexpected…  Grace chose to spend her birthday evening out, dining in the exclusive company of friends.  It was hard not to show my hurt feelings, but I managed.  John didn’t bother to cover his up.  He was quite offended and said so.  Repeatedly.  To me though, not to her.  Which I guess was a good thing, since it was her day to celebrate…

Grace met up with a large group of kids at Rookies, a nearby restaurant.  No parents were allowed.  No sibling either.  Her plan was to bring them all back to our house afterwards for birthday cupcakes.  Another change.

When Beth hit high school, she always wanted us to be part of her party; whether we stayed home or took her and a friend (or two) out for dinner, family was welcome.  Brian was much the same, except he really wanted to have a monster-sized piece of his cake at night’s end; consequently, he didn’t want a bunch of his buddies hanging around.  He considered his dad enough competition for his cake…

As I told John, these things have a way of working themselves out…

When Grace arrived home with her entourage, it was obvious things hadn’t gone exactly the way she thought they would.  Service at the restaurant was incredibly slow and the wait staff was less than enthusiastic about serving 15+ teenagers.  For good reason, it seems…  Several attendees skipped out on their checks and left Grace literally holding their bill.  She paid, humiliated and furious with them.  The amount due was minimal ($4), but the experience and lesson she learned was priceless.  Last but not least, two friends were arguing at the top of their lungs in our driveway because one knocked a drink over onto the other’s brand new (uninsured) iphone; the screen and speaker were fried. 

Things had escalated to the point she needed my help…

So I jumped in and settled things as only a momma could…

Special occasions and holidays are always difficult… What is the right thing? Keep the status quo, try something completely different or a combination of both?

I think tonight was important for many reasons.  It showed me and John a glimpse of things to come; the girls aren’t little anymore.  They are pulling away from us, as they should.  They have to decide on smaller things (not that her birthday is a small thing to me) in order to learn how to make bigger decisions down the road.  Grace discovered that not all of her friends share her values, maturity level or sense of right vs. wrong.  She took care of what she could, but called for backup (me) when things started getting out of hand.

This celebration wasn’t what we’re used to, but in the end, it turned out okay.  Maybe cupcakes are more fun, if you just give them a try…

Wishing you sunshine and always, hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator

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