Being a guy, albeit a guy in a non-traditional parenting role, I think I know a thing or two about what’s on the male mind this holiday season. Now, I’m not going to blog about that because my mom reads this- instead I offer up a sequel to last week’s gift guide.
Yep. Last week I showed you gifts sure to be a perfect match for someone on your holiday shopping list. This week I take the easy road and bring you more of the same, only this time specifically for the men in your lives. Anyway, stop worrying about which color of tie to purchase or whether or not he really needs another soap on a rope- this year get him something he can really use. Or something from the following guide.
The men in your life take their manly responsibilities seriously. They are there to protect you- a guy’s ultimate goal is provide your family with adequate safety and comfort. Show him you appreciate it with a combo leather Taser holster/1 G MP3 player from iTaser.com. As a protective male I can tell you that when I’ve whipped out my taser all negotiations are over and all I need is some good MP3 music to keep the testosterone flowing and the jittery whimpering of my foe at a barely audible level.
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Note that the Taser is NOT included. But your man already owns a Taser, doesn’t he?
Now that things are secure on the home front I have to tell you something that you probably already know. Your guy likes to drink. When the last bad guy is tased your guy likes to sit down and enjoy an alcoholic beverage. Nothing like the smooth, brewed taste of victory and safety, that’s what I say.
Now, you could get him some namby-pamby “Beer of the Month” membership, or worse yet, a fancy wine opener. OR you get him something that screams “I am a man who can handle his drink!”.
The iBreath achieves this nicely. It is a combination FM Transmitter for your iPod (so you can play your iPod through the car stereo) and breathalyzer so you can determine just how drunk you are before cranking up the tunes and driving off. Kinda like a Reese's Cup - two great tastes that go great together. Do me a favor and let me know when/where your man plans on using this item so I can be safely off the roads.
Finally, all joking aside, we guys are kind of sensitive. I know, I know... we don't often show it. We may be taser-wielding bad a$$es, but we really are self-conscious about our looks. We feel better (and are less likely to tase someone first, ask questions later) when we feel confident that we are presenting ourselves in our best light. That’s why every man needs the Men Pen.
That's right! Finally, a cosmetic concealer just for men. It comes in 17 shades, so you know you’ll be able to find the perfect match to boost your man’s self confidence. With this item in your guy’s man-purse he will always know he looks his best for you or the other guys at the gym. And the discrete packaging enables him to keep this concealer on the down low, if he so desires.
So you see, the myth that men are difficult to shop for just simply isn’t true. I just spent, what, 20 minutes on the internet and I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg of just fabulous gifts any man would simply die for. Now go out there and give us guys what we really want.