Moms Columns & Blogs

Pineville, Part II

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August 19, 2009

At times I feel we’re trapped in twilight…  That tiny wedge of time between sunset and utter darkness includes every hour of every day for us.  Does anyone ever escape, once lost within this place?  I wonder…

For the second time in as many weeks, I made the trek to Pineville to share Brian’s story; today I was with the Kiwanis Club of Pineville - South Mecklenburg.  Rather than take I-485 and exit onto Park Road as we did that awful day, I decided to drive straight down Highway 51, even though it would take me right past the place where it all began.  I dreaded the drive…and yet I felt I must do it, follow that route of all my options.  It was a symbolic act of our ongoing journey… 

I was a little freaked out, being RIGHT there, staring at the hospital helipad across the street from the restaurant; it marks the spot where I last saw my son alive.  I checked the rearview to confirm my public façade was in place, locked my pain away and stepped out into the sunshine, as ready as I could be.  I think it turned out okay, hard to say…  About the only thing I remember is something a member mentioned afterward; he suggested that B may have been taken so young to be spared a far worse fate here in this world…

When I mentioned his comment to Aunt Judy and his reference to the passage in Isaiah, she told me the story of a second cousin on Granny’s side of the family.  He passed away as a teen (I never knew him); he too, was in a fatal car accident.  In his case, an autopsy was performed and it was learned he had an inoperable brain tumor…

If nothing else, I have another point to ponder, a different way of thinking about things.  No one can know for sure what the future holds…

My first two opportunities to speak and they are both within a mile of the accident site.  What are the chances?  I don’t believe in coincidence…  Perhaps I am being sent a message about Pineville, or maybe speaking...  Both are incredibly hard, one being, one doing…  Maybe the lesson here is if I can do it there, of all places, surely I can do it anywhere.  On faith…with His help…

Wishing you many blessings and always, hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator

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