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Emily

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My head is about to explode…  My hair feels like it is standing, saluting and collapsing in rhythm to my heartbeat.  My right eye won’t stop twitching; my stomach is rolling…  The physical stress of today’s whirlwind road trip, months of constant emotional turmoil, plus absolute abhorrence of my life equals a punishing, monstrous headache from hell…  

I finally made the necessary gift purchases for John’s family.  Not because I wanted to, or had any decent ideas; it got done purely due to today’s impending visit to Boone.  I hate giving mindless presents, but whatever…  First time back without B…  Second meal with the extended Garlock clan since the funeral…  One day closer to Christmas…  

We had just stopped in Lenoir to pick up barbecue from Hannah’s when Grace received a text message, bearing painful news…  Emily Rose, a senior at Butler, lost her battle with leukemia earlier this morning.  Although she didn’t know her personally, Grace attended a candlelight prayer vigil for her at the rock earlier this week; Emily is the fourth student from Butler lost in the last year…  

We continued our ascent of mountain as planned, but our spirits plummeted back to the bottom of the valley of shadows and sorrow.  We rode in silence, shedding a river of tears for Emily…for her family and friends…for another beautiful young life, gone…      

Exactly how large is this horrific club that we belong to?  It appears to have unlimited capacity and to be non-discriminatory.  I’ve discovered there are an infinite number of ways to gain membership into this group; and yet, once in, there is no way out.  It is a life sentence…  

I cannot imagine what today is like for her mom…  Yes, we both lost children; in that respect, we are the same.  But I didn’t have to watch Brian become sick or hurt… Suffer while undergoing treatment… Rally and fight a good fight, only to succumb in the end…  

‘Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.’ Psalm 33:22  Without hope, we have nothing…

Wishing you sunshine and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator

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