Moms Columns & Blogs

Get over it?

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Imagine for a moment…

You are trapped in a place you never imagined you could be…

Things are different here…you have the feeling that something is off, but cannot seem to recall why, exactly…

 

The air around you seems strange, both thick and thin at once; each breath requires great effort, eroding your miniscule supply of energy...

You desperately search for an entrance or exit, some pathway, a sign to show you the road out…only this darkness is impenetrable and unforgiving…

Your chest trembles, then flutters, as you finally remember…  Head spinning, shoulders sagging under the weight of disbelief, your mind cannot reason around this abrupt departure from your expectations…

 

Immediately you pray to forget, as the crushing weight of awareness threatens to still your broken heart…  You realize you don’t want to go on, for this burden is too much, the pain is too great…

And suddenly a pinprick of light appears in the distance, just bright enough to spark a trace of hope, and you resolve to hold on for a moment more…  

Imagine this happening, every second of every minute of every day…  

So what do you do when you hear ‘You need to get over it’, ‘It’s been over four months, you should be better now’ or ‘Move on with your life’?  

My fury under quarantine threatens to erupt and scorch the earth…  How could anyone possibly believe that we want to persist with this state of being?  No parent would EVER choose this…  It’s all I can do to keep from screaming a vicious retort: ‘Thanks for your ignorant advice.  Let me assure you that we are doing the absolute best we can, trying to cope with all of this.  Trust me, it cannot possibly be more difficult for you to deal with us in our altered state than it is for us attempting to live out this travesty…  And do tell, exactly how would YOU go about ‘getting over it’, if it was your child that died?  I’m all ears...’  Instead, I consider the source, and say nothing, deciding it best for everyone involved that I distance myself and stay silent…no good can come from such a reply.  I will say an extra prayer for them tonight; hopefully they will never have to know the agonizing reality we face daily…  

Through God’s grace, I will get over it…when I get where I’m going, when my time has come…  Until then, I’m embracing that spark of hope…  

Happy Independence Day...  Wishing you a safe and happy holiday…  -TG 

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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