Moms Columns & Blogs

And I wonder...

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Do I think we are special?  Absolutely not…I know we are not the only family to face such struggles...  All I have to do is open the newspaper or watch the evening news, and I am quickly reminded of how ordinary we really are…  Everyone has a burden to bear or some challenge to face, whether we are aware of it or not…  

I often wonder, had the accident not happened, would I be struggling with how to handle so many things?  It is very difficult to distinguish between reactionary responses and ‘normal’ ones in our household; the lines are jagged and extremely blurry.  I suppose had nothing changed, our specific issues could be different, or maybe not…  After all, with two teenagers working in tandem to outmaneuver their parents, there would always be something afoot, no doubt about it…  So why even bother considering it?  Because while I know our old life is gone forever, it’s the only one I’ve known...    

The heat of anger has finally dissipated; it simply requires too much energy to stay mad for any length of time.  I tread carefully between my family factions…  Each side continues to be convinced that their point of view and perspective is the correct one; I am concerned only with coping…surviving…loving each other, in spite of differing opinions.  The whole ‘agree to disagree’ solution, stretched to the rubber band breaking point…  

It’s so crazy…if I defend Grace on any level, then it is assumed that I approve of her behavior and actions, when nothing could be further from the truth.  I am simply trying to teach her that it IS possible to make not so smart decisions, face their aftermath and bounce back from them…she can still go on to do well in her sophomore year and beyond.  I want to be certain she knows she is not alone and I will help her as much as I can, with the understanding that these are HER consequences…she is responsible for ‘manning up’ and doing whatever must be done to make things right.  

Which brings up another thought…community service hours…  I am surprised at the difficulty in finding opportunities to fulfill this part of her punishment.  We are not experienced with this sort of thing; her complicated web of needs has severely limited our options.  I cannot seem to locate many weekend activities, and there is not much time left each afternoon once regular school hours adjourn…  I mean, should I have her skip the after-school algebra tutoring sessions with her teacher (she’s failing) or her weekly grief counseling appointment (now that she’s openly talking)?  Or both?  Neither?  I am going to give it up in prayer and stop fretting about it...He will show me the way if I just get out of the way…

Wishing you hope…TG 

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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