Moms Columns & Blogs

Faith > Fear

blog post photo

May, 2009

The countdown continues…  We are moving ever closer to the worst milestone of our lives, the occasion when the substance of nightmares suddenly morphed into real life…  How did we manage to make it this long without him?  It’s been forever since we’ve seen his smile, but it feels like we lost him yesterday…

The bracelet campaign has grown, in large part to articles in the Observer and The Charlotte Weekly newspaper.  I can hardly believe the response!  I have been mailing bracelets all over the place…  With each request, my hope soars…  The chance of another family avoiding our tragedy is a tiny beam of light in this vast wasteland of darkness.  Maybe it will keep me sane, focusing on something constructive, rather than scrutinizing every moment of the days leading up to June 12, 2008…

I’m sure writing to ask for bracelets is difficult, never mind that we asked for it; probably more than one person will decide not to.  The same dilemma presents itself emailing someone like me, just as it does face to face: what do you say?  Where do you begin?   It’s pretty simple, actually…  Say hello, maybe I’m sorry (if applicable) and explain how you learned of our mission, closing with where to send the package.  I imagine most people are afraid of inadvertently saying the wrong thing and causing us more grief and pain.  We ache over his loss continuously, so a few awkward words aren’t likely to upset us, unless someone is deliberately seeking to be hurtful.  So far, it hasn’t happened…

I received one request that gave me pause…  A local State Farm agent read ‘Bracelets for Brian’ and decided to write me…  He has approximately 50-60 new drivers come of age in his agency annually; he would like to give each of them one of Brian’s bracelets and a copy of the story.  I was so excited about the possibility of reaching teens beyond my own back yard…until I saw where his office was located.  In Pineville.  My imaginary boundary begins at Providence Road and extends to the state line.  Going there would require me to pass through the spot where it began, at a time when I’m feeling least able to handle it…

I prayed for strength and guidance…finally realizing my faith in God’s plan was far greater than my fear of that place…  So I went.  I’m glad I did.  The story behind his email: he had a rare Friday evening free of family responsibilities…  Visited a take-out restaurant he’d never been in previously…  Picked up a community newspaper he’d never seen before…  Completely read the story spanning multiple pages…  Emailed a complete stranger a few days later, wanting to help further her family’s cause…

I still don’t care to go to Pineville…  But this was a start…maybe something good can come out of that place after all…

We are giving away ‘Remember Brian 06-12-08’ bracelets again for the second anniversary.  Please email rememberbrian@mindspring.com if you are interested with your mailing address & I will gladly send one (or more) to you!  Also if you are in need of a replacement, I have plenty to share!

Wishing you many blessings, sunshine and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

  Comments