Moms Columns & Blogs

Winter blues...

blog post photo

photo courtesy of/by Harris Teeter, Inc.

February, 2009  

The winter blues have taken hold; I catch myself brooding for hours on end…  The bitter cold and absence of life in this dreary, barren landscape do nothing to bolster the bleak outlook that has settled over my home.  Yet tucked out of sight, I know tiny daffodil bulbs lie in wait, timing their debut for exactly the right moment...  Something to hold onto…  

I thought I was okay with making additional changes in my life, but working more closely with John has been difficult.  Increased hours together = surge in squabbles; it’s much harder to clock out at 5:00 and shift seamlessly from work mode to wife…  We’ve been employed at the same place for years, operating independently of each other for the most part; now, our success (or failure) is closely entwined with my ability to be a good assistant.  I’m struggling to keep the professional and the personal separated…nothing is on an even keel…  

Consequently, there is an undercurrent of tension everywhere we go, in everything we do…  John decided to go with me today to run errands.  First stop, Target.  Three minutes after crossing the threshold, for reasons known only to him, he announced we had to go.  Loudly.  I wanted the floor to open up so I could disappear…  Next stop, Panera Bread.  I thought maybe lunch would help his disposition and settle my nerves.  Not so much.  During the 60-second drive to the restaurant, “Better as a Memory” by Kenny Chesney filled the airwaves; the only available parking slot was right beside a light blue, four-door Honda Civic.  Parked on my side of the car.  I could hardly stand it…  On to Harris Teeter for flowers; I grabbed the last pink Harry the Dragon balloon as we exited the store, desperate to lighten our mood, some way, somehow, as we drove to the last place on today’s list: Forest Lawn East.  By the time we carried off the broken branches, ruined flowers and faded Christmas decorations, we were both sobbing.  I dropped to my knees and began sweeping leaves, twigs, and sweet gum balls off of Brian with my hands…a sharp cracking sound split the air…  I didn’t even flinch; I was completely focused on clearing up the debris.  John froze at first, and then started laughing uncontrollably.  I looked around, wondering, “What just happened?”  I finally saw the ribbon on the ground…  Brian’s balloon popped, hurling the entire pink blob smack dab into the middle of my back, where it stuck.  Like glue.  What a pair we made: splotched faces, runny noses, red-rimmed eyes, laughing like nobody’s business…  John, ever logical, reckoned the helium got too cold.  I'm of a different opinion...  I've decided it was a sign from Brian, telling us to lighten up…  

The problem is, B, we don’t know how…or if we ever will…because we miss you as much as ever...

Wishing you hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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