Moms Columns & Blogs

Silly cat

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The structure and layout of our home remains the same, although we are at times, virtually unrecognizable…  Becoming comfortable with our ‘new normal’ will take the rest of our lives.  While it is obvious we cannot undo what has been done, learning to work around it, to tolerate it, to make peace with it, will be an ongoing process…  

Even our cat, Sylvester (Silly) has been changed by the suffocating weight of our grief…  He pads silently from room to room, unnoticed by most, but always watching…  Pausing in the foyer, he looks up, and then down, as if considering his options.  Up, to the quiet and comfort of a warm bed, or down, to dinner and attendance of life’s other necessities.  He lifts his head, nose twitching, catching the faint scent of something...  Decision made, he carefully navigates the stairs, one at a time, intent upon his destination.  

At first, each of us would visit Brian’s room every day, desperately searching for a way to be close to him, to sense his presence for a single moment more…  Silly would dart in, hot on the heels of the one breaching the barrier...  Nonplussed, looking around, sniffing the bedcovers, Brian’s shoes, his book bag, his pile of clothes…  Every corner had to be thoroughly investigated before he finally flopped onto the rug and rolled around a few times.  He stared up at whichever tear-stained face was present, offering a ‘RRAAARRWLLL’ of commiseration…and consolation…  

Recently Silly started camping out in whatever room we are in, and he has ‘talked’ more in the last few months than the rest of his thirteen plus years collectively.  He wants to be petted, scratched, held and loved like never before.  He especially gravitates between John and me…  Whoever is having the harder day is the beneficiary of his affection, a twelve pound purring ball of warmth…  

I have no doubt about whether Silly knows something has gone terribly wrong…and Brian hasn’t been home.  Brian was such a loving child; at times I wonder if maybe he is visiting us…  An angel unaware, prompting Silly’s displays and demands for attention, rewarding our response with a fresh coat of fur and unconditional love…  

Wishing you hope…TG  

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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