Moms Columns & Blogs

The Right Move?

Time continues to slip quietly by, unremarkable save for the calendar pages flipping forward at an ever increasing pace...I see its passage etched in the fine lines tattooing my face, the ever resilient gray highlighting my hair, and the unbidden slowdown in my pace...

I can hardly believe it’s been more than four months since we sold our Quail Ridge home. The change has continued to be cathartic for John. Shedding that house has allowed him to lose a modicum of the guilt he has carried since that terrible June day six years ago. That is not to say his suffering has become something of days gone by...birthday and several days thereafter, his heart wrenching cries to heaven would have ripped the hardest of hearts apart. Still, I can see an easing in his spirit, a slight lessening of the self-loathing born of the loss he was unable to prevent...

Given the tremendous change in his demeanor, I wonder if it would have happened sooner, if only I had given in...Have I failed to do my best for him and for us by refusing to yield, even in the face of his declaration, "Can't you see? This place is killing me!

It is so hard to know whether or not you are doing the right things, making the right decisions in this life. Back then it may have been great for him, but I had the girls to consider...I've always tried to do what I thought was in the best interest of all of us, not just one...

I will continue to trust and believe the timing was as it should have been. When viewing things through the crystal clear lens of hindsight, it would appear to be so...

>Wishing you blessings and hope...

Tammy will update her blog weekly...

On Twitter: @briansmom061208

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