Tracy Lee Curtis

Broadway can’t help recharge your battery

Did you hear about the audience member at the Broadway play “Hand to God,” who desperately needed to charge his cellphone? He climbed on stage and attempted to charge it by using an outlet that was part of the set. Which turned out to be fake.

I totally get this. Those Broadway sets look so real. I was in a production of Neil Simon’s “Rumors” that was set in a beautiful living room during a dinner party. They even pre-set hors d’oeuvres and had a full bar. I’m surprised we didn’t have half the audience up there mixing drinks before the show.

You don’t think everyone who goes to see “Grease” doesn’t try to sit on one of those stools in the Burger Palace? Put a coin in the jukebox and order a cheeseburger and chocolate shake?

And don’t tell me people aren’t attempting to pounce on Maria’s bed in the production of “The Sound of Music.” The audience is thinking no way all those kids jumping on the bed are part of the show. And that bed just looks so comfy.

And it’s not like the theater lets you know it’s not real. It’s not part of the announcements at the beginning...

“At this time, please silence any cellphones or electronic devices. Recording the performance or taking photographs is not permitted.”

They need a note about the set...

“The set is not real and everything you see is a prop. Please do not attempt to charge electronics, mix drinks, order food or take ‘Greased Lightning’ for a spin around the block.”

When the ushers took this phone out of the fake outlet, in the fake wall of the fake set, the perpetrator asked, “Well, where can I charge it?”

Excellent question! Because this needs to be taken care of. He’s 19, he needs his phone. Anything could happen during a two-hour show. A girl might call. The drinking age could change back to 18. Apple might release a phone that you can charge by blowing on it. You just don’t know.

And if that Broadway show doesn’t have a real outlet, they should suggest a show where there might be one. Probably not “Our Town,” that set’s not going to have outlets. It doesn’t even have walls. “A Chorus Line” doesn’t have a set at all. And I think “The Addams Family” leans more toward candelabras and full moons.

You need a show that uses electricity. He could try “Steel Magnolias.” It’s set in a beauty salon and they use blow dryers. The “August: Osage County” set is the interior of a home and has a lot of lamps. And the “Grease” set may even work if they use a blender to make those milkshakes.

Anyway, “Hand to God” had to start a few minutes late. Too bad it wasn’t “Rumors.” He could have enjoyed the hors d’oeuvres.