Tracy Lee Curtis

How has The Donald ducked life’s lessons?

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 22: Donald Trump greets supporters, tourists and the curious after taping an interview with Anderson Cooper at a Trump owned building in mid-town Manhattan on July 22, 2015 in New York City.
NEW YORK, NY - JULY 22: Donald Trump greets supporters, tourists and the curious after taping an interview with Anderson Cooper at a Trump owned building in mid-town Manhattan on July 22, 2015 in New York City. Getty Images

Okay, every time I hear Donald Trump say something mean or ugly, I have to ask – where is this boy’s mother? Has he not been taught the basic rules of respect? Because I have a nine year-old who has better manners.

But this is a teachable moment. So gather ‘round kids, every child needs to learn these lessons. And what better way to understand what not to say, than to study Donald Trump and his most recent quotes...

“Rick Perry put glasses on so people will think that he’s smart.”

Don’t make fun of kids who wear glasses.

“We won’t be using a man like Secretary Kerry who...goes into a bicycle race...and falls and breaks his leg.”

Don’t laugh at somebody who falls down.

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body.”

Nobody cares about your toenails.

Hillary Clinton “was the worst secretary of state in the history of the United States.”

Don’t talk about people behind their backs.

“When Mexico sends its people...they’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime.”

Don’t stereotype people.

“Why is Obama playing basketball today? That is why our country is in trouble!”

No, that is why he’s a decent basketball player.

Giving out S.C. Sen. Lindsey Graham’s cell phone number to hundreds at a rally, saying to “Give it a shot.”

Don’t give personal information to strangers.

John McCain “he’s not a war hero.”

Respect your elders.

“Mexico’s biggest drug lord escapes from jail. Unbelievable corruption and USA is paying the price. I told you so!”

Um, don’t make Mexican drug lords mad.

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest. Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.”

Don’t call people names. Don’t disparage others.

Fox News’ Charles Krauthammer “is a totally overrated clown who speaks without knowing facts.”

Don’t disparage clowns.

“When was the last time anybody saw us beating, lets say, China, in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time.”

Be humble, nobody likes a bragger.

“Let me tell you, I’m a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country.”

Nobody likes a bragger.

“I will be the greatest jobs president that God has ever created.”

Stop it.

“I’m very rich. The money you’re talking about is a lot, but it’s peanuts for me.”

Seriously, it’s embarrassing.

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

Okay, I give up.

In fact, I think that’s enough for today, children. But wait! One last lesson. Don’t be a sore loser.

Donald, you can just save that one for later.

tcurtis@charlotteobserver.com

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