So it’s in the 80s this week, but it’ll be in the 60s next week, so here’s the deal …
We ain’t going back. Spring sprang two weeks ago. The pollen’s out and so is our spring wardrobe, and we are not going back to flannel.
So how do we dress for spring fashion, but cool temps? We improvise.
Sport a light-colored sweater. A trench coat. OK, better make it a wool coat, but think pastels and light neutrals. No black or gray or anything that says, “Help me, I’m depressed.”
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For that early morning spring chill that nips at your fingers, consider a thin leather glove in a playful pink or silly citron. Then get some of those disposable hand warmers from Walgreens and smuggle them in there when your fingers start to numb.
Trap a little extra heat with a lightweight cotton scarf in a fun plaid. I suggest ripping the fleece lining out of your winter coat and sewing it into the underside of your scarf, and maybe inside a little cotton twill hat. Nobody has to know.
Trousers in spring colors and patterns help keep some weight on your legs. Silk long johns make the trouser easy to slide off and on between being outside where you’re freezing, then back inside where the heat’s blasting and everyone’s sweating. Which makes all the small talk about having spring fever seem quite funny. In a very sad, sad, sort of way.
Layering your torso is easy. Under a crisp silky blouse, layer a long-sleeved shirt, over a short-sleeved T, over a camisole, preferably made of leather. Then sling a lightweight shawl around your shoulders to hide the fact that you look like you’re on steroids. Or just shoplifted one of every item on the front table of the Gap.
If you’re just dying to wear a skirt, sneak in a thin nude hose under a knee sock with a cute flat. Keep the warmth, but change up the colors by lightening and brightening up the shoes. Stylists suggest shades of orange.
And then be sure to ask yourself what on earth possessed you to wear an orange flat.
Pray for rain and the opportunity to wear apple green or tomato red rain boots, very easy to conceal heavy socks and hand warmers, wedged between each toe.
Ward off winter with a blinding metallic handbag. Swing it around in circles if you have to – keep spinning around, you’ll get warm. Or you’ll get escorted into a very warm and protected police vehicle. Either way …
But you get the idea. Be creative. But be practical. Be seasonal. But be warm.
And get the 40-pack in those hand warmers. Something tells me we’re in for a long, hard spring.