Tracy Lee Curtis

36 reasons modern love makes me feel old-fashioned

Reading the New York Time’s “Modern Love” essay last Sunday, it referenced psychologist Arthur Aron’s study of whether intimacy between two strangers can be achieved by having them ask each other 36 questions. That’s cool, a little Q and A, just some simple questions to get to know somebody …

The first question was “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”

Now, this one’s sort of hard, because I don’t really cook. So I can’t exactly make dinner for an influential world leader or Fortune 500 type. So I’d say Jimmy Fallon. Because he’d be cool with tacos.

Question 3 is “Before making a phone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say?” This creeps me out. Because I don’t do this, and if the person I’m asking says yes to the question, then every time he calls me, I’m gonna wonder how long he’s been in rehearsals, is he reading from a script, and is he wearing a funny costume?

Question 6: “If you could live to be 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?” Well – that depends on who the 30-year-old is. Is it Natalie Portman? Because she’s got a great body and went to Harvard, that’s a win-win. But if the 30-year-old is Jonah Hill …

Question 12: “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?” I would totally be invisible. So I could follow my two boys around school, sports practices and sleepovers. Because I’m sure there’s more to it than “it was fine.”

Question 13: “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” This would take some thought, but off the top of my head I’d want to know in what election year, if any, would we officially run out of Clintons and Bushes.

Question 14: “Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing and why haven’t you done it?” Because J.K. Rowling beat me to it.

Question 32: “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?” Tough one for a humor writer, but I’m thinking … nothing.

Question 34: “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to save any one item. What would it be and why?” The cigarette. Because I hadn’t finished it. (See what I mean?)

I think this way of falling in love may be too modern for me. I’m good with the basics. I’d just want to know what drives him, what he’s passionate about, which way his moral compass points and what he wants out of the relationship.

And who writes all his phone scripts.