Mark Washburn

20 ways you know romance is changing

An artist’s version of Saint Valentine, believed by some to be a persecuted Christian who secretly married other Christians and was eventually executed by the Roman emperor Claudius II, thus making him one of the first to establish empirically that love hurts.
An artist’s version of Saint Valentine, believed by some to be a persecuted Christian who secretly married other Christians and was eventually executed by the Roman emperor Claudius II, thus making him one of the first to establish empirically that love hurts.

On today, the nation’s romantic holiday of Valentine’s Day, we look at the 20 signs of when you know the flame is flickering a bit weak:

▪ “Whitman’s Sampler? But you know I’m planning on going on a diet.”

▪ A big night is picking out something satisfactory to all on Netflix.

▪ Shopping for a valentine Sunday morning at Publix before anyone else gets up.

▪ “I’m going to sleep on the sofa. It’s better for my back.”

▪ All the kids have gone out on sleepovers and you have a romantic dinner of take-out Mexican because she doesn’t feel like washing her hair.

▪ Your goal on Valentine’s Day is taking down the Christmas tree.

▪ On a cold night, she wears socks to bed and you don’t care.

▪ You agree to spend the afternoon with her at Concord Mills, but only if she lets you wander around Lowe’s on the way home.

▪ He sets up a romantic weekend. In Raleigh. With hockey tickets.

▪ “Don’t bother buying me anything for Valentine’s Day. I’ve already ordered new kitchen counter tops.”

▪ She wishes you a happy Valentine’s Day without looking up from her phone.

▪ There’s an ice storm coming and you don’t even think to shop for candles and a bottle of wine.

▪ “I love you too, but it’s still your turn to unload the dish washer.”

▪ You realize those nose-bleed 2016 Panthers season tickets you bought last month in Section 553 might not go over so big after all.

▪ You’re waiting for him to pick you up at the curb of the airport terminal after a long business trip and he texts, “What do you look like?”

▪ You wonder if that memory of the kids getting up early and serving you breakfast in bread with a hearty “Happy Valentine’s Day!” ever really happened since they don’t stir nowadays until mid-afternoon, and they never talk.

▪ You get a gift card to Target, and you’re actually pretty happy with it.

▪ All your divorced friends have romantic dinners set up. You plan to help the kids with their homework and walk the dog.

▪ You used to get truffles. Now you get Girl Scout Thin Mints.

▪ You change the oil in the car and she doesn’t even notice.

  Comments