Mark Washburn

20 phrases you never hear spoken in Charlotte

With the help of clever readers, we return this week to the theme of things you simply never hear said in Charlotte.

• “I’m so glad the Observer hired a conservative editorial writer.”

• “Be nice if the ice bucket fad came back.”

• “One great thing about the Lake Norman toll scheme is that if it doesn’t work out, we’re only committed to it for 50 years.”

• “You’d think a town this size would have some Steelers fans.”

• “Hagan voted with Obama? Who would have guessed?”

• “We’re in for a wild and unpredictable weekend – we’re going to Raleigh!”

• “We’re lucky to live in a place where strangers ring your doorbell early on Saturdays to tell you about their religion.”

• “I miss the name ‘Bobcats.’ ”

• “I’m not surprised there’s a little cost overrun on the trolley. I thought all along that $163 million for four miles sounded too low.”

• “Will the commentators say anything during the game about Steve Smith playing his old team?”

• “Never mind the car. It’s a nice day. Let’s walk.”

• “Obviously those Hollywood producers were telling the truth when they said they loved us for our skilled workforce and cinematic vistas and would probably stick around even if we ended their 25 percent tax kickbacks.”

• “Can you imagine how plain uptown would be if we hadn’t preserved all the old buildings to create a picturesque historic district?”

• “I really enjoy hearing how you do it up North.”

• “I was so lucky to have been a ground-floor investor in the amateur athletic complex at Bojangles’ Coliseum.”

• “What have the Levines ever done for this town?”

• “Cam looks so manly in those capri pants.”

• “Who’s the brunette on WCCB news?”

• “Keep Ballantyne weird.”

• “Great column today.”