Viewpoint

Laugh Attacks:Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

Fallon
Fallon AP

JIMMY FALLON

“According to The Washington Post, the CIA found that Russia interfered in the election to help Donald Trump win the presidency. Experts say this is the biggest scandal America’s faced for decades, and the biggest scandal Trump’s faced since Friday.”

“We’re just days away from Christmas! And if you want to know if Santa has you on his ‘nice’ list or his ‘naughty’ list, just ask Russia to hack it for you.”

“The Democratic National Committee was actually hacked because one of its directors clicked on a fake email to change his password, which gave Russia access to his account. Then Hillary said, ‘I can’t believe you’d be so careless with your email!’ 

“Kanye West actually showed up to meet with Donald Trump at Trump Tower. People were shocked — they didn’t expect those two to meet until the first presidential debate in 2020.”

“Trump announced he’s nominating Exxon Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson to be his secretary of state, even though Rex supposedly has a friendly relationship with Vladimir Putin. Today, Rex said, ‘Putin and I aren’t friends,’ while Putin said, ‘That’s SO something Rex would say.’ 

“A growing trend among families is giving their kids a few small presents ahead of Christmas to break up the tension of getting everything on Christmas Day. They actually have an interesting name for this — Hanukkah.”

CONAN O’BRIEN

“Donald Trump met with Kanye West. It’s always cool when two future presidents hang out.”

“Trump’s pick for secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, was once the president of the Boy Scouts of America. Or as Donald Trump calls that, ‘government experience.’ 

“Trump said he has asked President Obama to help recommend some of his appointments. Obama said fine, and recommended Hillary Clinton for president.”

“Pope Francis has warned the media to stop spreading false information. Or as the media reported it, ‘World’s Top Rabbi Says Keep Up the Good Work!’ 

  Comments