At last, the real reason behind the wiretaps

Maybe former President Obama wanted to know more about President Donald Trump’s hair.
Maybe former President Obama wanted to know more about President Donald Trump’s hair. TNS

When we kicked off this year’s limericks contest last week, we said we hoped long-time contestant Bill McGloughlin of Charlotte hadn’t gotten too big for his britches after having a limerick appear in the New York Times.

He hadn’t. McGloughlin sent 11 limericks for the first week of the Observer’s Politics & Public Policy Limericks Contest, including this direct response to the britches question:

Nearly ten years of doing this dance,

Every spring. Now we get one more chance,

But I’ve got to be real,

I’m not sure how I feel,

About Taylor’s concern for my pants.

McGloughlin’s crop was among 117 limericks we received this week. Most – too many – were about Donald Trump (though that was not unexpected). McGloughlin is this week’s winner among stiff competition, thanks to rhymes like this one about Trump:

Is he making big changes? Darn tootin’!

Off on Twitter his mouth he’s been shootin’,

But the gay marriage laws

He won’t roll back, because

It might mess up his bromance with Putin.

McGloughlin also saw the controversial photo of Kellyanne Conway kneeling on a couch in the Oval Office and thought it was no big deal.

Her position was just accidental.

Who knew people would be so judgmental?

But Kellyanne’s crouch

With her feet on the couch?

What’s the problem? The place is a rental.

Past champions Wes Long of Cramerton and his father, John Long of Stanley, haven’t lost a step. Wes Long saw that the Statue of Liberty went dark overnight on Wednesday.

In the darkness she stood, Liberty.

Our Lady, our land of the free.

But her seeming protest

Caused the POTUS unrest,

So he tweeted, “At best – she’s a three.”

Wes Long also saw that Vice President Mike Pence had used a private AOL email account while he was governor of Indiana.

Hypocritical Pence did assail,

Clinton’s usage of private email.

With verbal artillery,

He pilloried Hillary.

At least SHE didn’t use AOL!

John Long, meanwhile, noticed that the FDA has approved a new drug that will help older men avoid the need to urinate in the night – the same early hours Trump often gets on his phone.

When this Noctiva drug hits the streets,

Our Prez will sleep sound ’tween the sheets,

And I have an inkling

That less frequent tinkling

Will mean there will be fewer tweets.

John Long also thinks, if President Obama is guilty of wiretapping Trump, he knows why.

He envied Trump’s looks and his flair,

So Obama did something unfair,

He used all his power

And bugged the Trump Tower

To find who is doing Don’s hair.

Loyd Dillon of Charlotte also focused on Trump and his tweeting.

“Fake news!”, he tweets out his view.

“Only I know the truth, never you.”

Is the public faked out?

No. Hear them shout

A dismissal that sounds like “Fake YOU!”

Phil Clutts of Harrisburg saw that Wells Fargo announced it would not award cash bonuses to top executives this year as a result of the bank’s fake-accounts scandal – but would still give out large stock awards.

To deny a big bonus in cash,

To some might have seemed a bit rash,

But instead giving stocks,

To me kind of mocks,

The idea of reducing their stash.

George Ramsey of Davidson scores points for difficulty:

The Trumpster tweets ill-thought-out rhetoric;

It’s now become well-nigh inveterate.

But discussions with Russians

Might have repercussions

That drive Trump to do things he’s better at.

We’ll give the last word to Sally Hughes of Charlotte, who knows who got the last word.

An epic upset has occurred.

The hopes of the Dems were interred.

To Hillary’s dismay

It was not her day.

The Deplorables got the last word.

Thanks to everyone for playing, including the many entrants not reprinted here. Week 2 starts now. Get your entries in by 9 a.m. Wednesday.