Viewpoint

Laugh Attacks: Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

Seth Meyers
Seth Meyers AP

SETH MEYERS

“Democrats have called for the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee to recuse himself from the investigation into Russia’s election-related hacking over concerns that he is too close to President Trump to be impartial. They want Congress to appoint someone less close to Trump, like Melania.”

“President Trump’s son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner reportedly met with executives from a Russian bank that was under U.S. sanctions during the 2016 presidential election. But I’m sure there’s a perfectly treasonable explanation.”

“White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said that President Trump came to Washington ‘to get things done.’ That’s why, five minutes into every meeting, he says, ‘Are we done?’ 

JIMMY FALLON

“It’s been a rough few days for President Trump, and this week it came out that his job approval rating is at just 36 percent. Trump was confused. He said, ‘How can you disapprove of a job I’m not even doing? Fake poll.’ 

“Trump’s approval rating is at just 36 percent, which is even lower than Obama’s ever was. The only time Obama came close to that was when he had that meeting with Trump.”

“Trump’s approval rating is worse than Obama’s lowest, and worse than Bill Clinton’s lowest. After hearing this, Trump promised to hunt down bin Laden and sleep with an intern.”

“Trump is now polling lower than a lot of things. For example, he’s less popular than sitting on a warm subway seat. He’s less popular than vague texts that say, ‘Do you have time to talk later, it’s important.’ He’s less popular than biting into a cookie and realizing that the chocolate chip is a raisin. He’s less popular than YouTube ads that you can’t skip after five seconds. He’s less popular than wet doorknobs. Finally, Trump is even polling lower than people who pronounce Chipotle as ‘chipolte.’ 

“A woman was arrested for trying to scale a White House fence for the second time in a week. The Secret Service said, ‘We wish you were living here too, but you can’t keep doing that, Mrs. Clinton.’ 

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