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Laugh Attacks: Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

O’Brien
O’Brien Getty Images

CONAN O’BRIEN

“Because of the scandals, ‘The O'Reilly Factor’ has lost 2/3 of its advertisers in one week. On the bright side, United Airlines is still with him!”

“White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has apologized for his Hitler comments and admitted he ‘screwed up.’ I don’t think Spicer learned his lesson though, because he then said, ‘Even Hitler didn’t screw up as badly as I did.’ 

“They’re having trouble organizing Easter at the White House this year. Instead of an A-list musician, there will be a military band. And instead of eggs, there’s going to be golf balls and instead of children there will be old white guys.”

JIMMY KIMMEL

“That video of the doctor being dragged off the plane and then the airline's response to it has turned into an absolute nightmare from a PR standpoint. Even Pepsi was like, I wouldn't want to be you guys this week.”

“During his daily briefing Sporty Spice, as he is known, made an absolutely incredible statement about Syrian President Assad, that if it wasn't so disturbing, would have been Hit-larious. He said, even someone as despicable as Hitler didn't sink to using chemical weapons, which of course is very wrong. Sean Spicer might be the only press secretary who needs a press secretary.”

“Before he was press secretary, Sean Spicer actually played the Easter bunny at the egg roll during the Bush administration. Which means this week, for the first time maybe in history, we got to see the Easter bunny apologize for comments about the Holocaust.”

“Congratulations to the first lady, Melania Trump, who just got a nice payout from a British tabloid newspaper, The Daily Mail. According to CNN, Melania received $2.9 million in damages, which she's using to build an escape tunnel back to Slovenia.”

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