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Laugh Attacks: Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

Corden
Corden Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP

Forget creating new manufacturing jobs in this country. Trump can’t even manufacture manufacturing councils.

James Corden

JAMES CORDEN

“The way these C.E.O.s are leaving Trump, you’d think they were married to him.”

“The C.E.O.s of Intel and Under Armour both resigned, which means somehow Donald Trump figured out a way to lose the nerds and the jocks at the same time.”

“The C.E.O. of the company 3M also resigned, and when Donald Trump asked why, they said that 3M doesn’t want to be associated with the three K’s.”

STEPHEN COLBERT

(On Trump being worried that statues of George Washington might be removed next) “Spoken like a guy who’s suspiciously worried that racist presidents don’t get statues anymore.”

“No word yet on where the (Confederate) statues will end up, but I’m guessing Steve Bannon’s summer home.”

“The white supremacists (in Charlottesville) held a torch-wielding march, only they were holding tiki torches. How lame! That’s like villagers coming after Frankenstein holding scented candles.”

(Responding to Trump’s assertion that “before I make a statement, I like to know the facts.”) “I wait for the facts, O.K.? Just ask the millions of illegal voters who refused to look for Obama’s birth certificate during my record-breaking inauguration. It’s all in the Obama wiretaps. It’s all there.”

JIMMY KIMMEL

“People are upset, and I understand why: The president handled a group of racists with kid gloves. I want to encourage you to keep an open mind here — maybe he did it because kid gloves are the only gloves that fit on his tiny little hands.”

SETH MEYERS

“President Trump made his first visit to Manhattan since his inauguration. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton visited three Manhattans and a Bud Light.”

“Grandstanders. And you all know what grandstands are right? They were those empty things at his inauguration.”

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