Viewpoint

Laugh AttacksHumorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

JIMMY FALLON

“Sen. Bob Corker said that Trump is a bad role model for children. And Trump said, ‘Not true. I’ve even proven that a child can be elected president.’ 

“There are some new airport security measures starting this week, and airlines can conduct short interviews with passengers. Most airlines will ask the purpose of your trip, while Spirit Airlines will ask if you know how to land a plane.”

“Republican Sen. Jeff Flake announced that he will not seek re-election, and said the GOP was headed in the wrong direction. Or, as Trump called it, ‘Flake news!’ 

CONAN O’BRIEN

“Bill O’Reilly revealed that he is mad at God for putting him through his sexual harassment scandal. Today, God refused to comment; instead, she just laughed.”

“The average ticket for tonight’s Dodgers-Astros World Series game is about $3,000. Isn’t that crazy? For that kind of money, you could see half of ‘Hamilton.’ 

“Foreign policy experts say that the president of China is now the world’s most powerful person. As you can imagine, that came as quite a shock to Beyoncé.”

SETH MEYERS

“All right! Jeff Flake! Way to eventually go! It took kinda-sorta guts to stand up only 11 months after the election and tell America not to elect Donald Trump. You said, ‘Hey, I don’t care if this hurts my 18 percent approval rating. And yeah, maybe I voted to confirm Jeff Sessions and Betsy DeVos, even though one lied during his confirmation hearing, and the other spells “lie” with an “h.” But I’m going to stand up and do what was right a year ago. I’m going to fight for the American people — by quitting my job of fighting for the American people.’ 

  Comments