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Laugh Attacks: Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs

O’Brien
O’Brien Getty Images

TREVOR NOAH

“So Paul Manafort has now been charged with lobbying for the government of Ukraine and not telling the U.S. government he did this. He’s also been charged with laundering tens of millions of dollars into secret foreign bank accounts in remote island nations around the world. Which basically makes Manafort one eye patch away from being a Bond villain.”

“Why is the twist always that Kevin Spacey is the bad guy? And talk about the worst time to go public with your sexuality. I mean, it’s always good to live your truth, but don’t use it to get out of trouble. Like, imagine if a cop pulled him over. He’d be like, ‘Sir are you drunk? I need you to come out of the vehicle.’ ‘That’s not the only thing I’m willing to come out of!’ 

STEPHEN COLBERT

“Manafort’s been charged with 12 counts, including conspiracy to launder money, tax fraud and conspiracy against the United States. What’s that crime usually called again? I can’t remember, for some treason.”

“The details of what Papadopoulos lied about are Papadopoudamning. While working to elect Donald Trump, he repeatedly tried to arrange a meeting between the Trump campaign and Russian government officials. You can’t do that! That’s Don Jr.’s job!”

JAMES CORDEN

“During Trump’s rant about the media, he said, ‘What could be more fake than CBS and NBC and ABC and CNN?’ What could be more fake? Just off the top of my head, Donald Trump’s approval rating, his inauguration size, his concern for Puerto Rico, his concern for immigrants, his concern for hurricane victims, his golf handicap, his high I.Q., his tan, his hair, his saying that no one respects women more than him, and Fox News.”

JIMMY FALLON

“Donald Jr. and his brother Eric are going to India to launch real estate projects for the Trump Organization. It’s all part of a new strategy called ‘fleeing the country.’”

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