Laugh Attacks 07/28/18: Humorists’ comments on politics and public affairs


James Corden

“It seems like the only thing still working in the Trump administration is the caps lock key.”

“(Last) Saturday, Trump downed a case of Monster Energy drinks and lashed out on Twitter, writing: ‘Inconceivable that the government would break into a lawyer’s office early in the morning — almost unheard of.’ The only thing inconceivable about the whole thing is that Trump spelled ‘inconceivable’ correctly. No one saw that coming!”

“He then went on to say, ‘The good news is that your favorite president did nothing wrong!’ Now this I agree with, I do, but why even bring Obama into this?”

Seth Meyers

“Well, move over, Gettysburg Address! After the president of Iran issued a warning to President Trump, Trump posted an all-caps tweet saying, “To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!” All I can say is thank God we didn’t elect a woman president. They’re just too emotional.”

“Oh my God, does he really think he’s fooling anyone? Trump is like a magician who wears short-sleeve shirts.”

Jimmy Fallon

“After all the backlash to his press conference with Vladimir Putin, President Trump said that the whole thing was a big misunderstanding, because he said the word ‘would’ when he meant to say ‘wouldn’t.’ The saddest part of that explanation is that it took him 24 hours to come up with it.”

Stephen Colbert

“Today it was announced that Ivanka Trump is closing her namesake fashion brand. Yeah, she’s closing down her namesake fashion brand because she wants to spend more time with her namesake fascism brand.”