You can tell things are rough for Trump because today he had to wipe his mouth with a napkin instead of a 20.
“Shepard Fairey, the street artist responsible for President Obama’s ‘Hope’ poster, is now facing vandalism charges in Detroit. It’s pretty serious. Detroit officials say the artist’s spray paint caused over $9,000 worth of improvements.”
“It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, ‘That’s great! Wait, WHAT?’”
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“The president of Iran prematurely announced the nuclear deal on Twitter yesterday before it was official. Which isn’t that big a deal until you realize the guy who almost had nukes is known for accidentally hitting ‘Send.’”
“The Obama administration announced a deal with Iran that would prevent the Iranians from making a nuclear weapon. In exchange, we’re giving the Iranians Netflix.”
“Donald Trump’s official Twitter account accidentally tweeted a photo of him that also had images of Nazis in it. The Nazis are furious.”
“Mexico’s No. 1 drug lord’s escaped from prison and may be headed to the U.S. So Donald Trump was wrong. They ARE sending us their best.”
“Mexico is offering a $3.8 million reward for information leading to the capture of the escaped billionaire drug lord, El Chapo. Mexico said they’ll get the money by borrowing it from El Chapo.”
“One economist is proposing that the way to save Greece is to take Greece’s $56 billion in assets and move them to an offshore bank account. And his second proposal is to bring the Parthenon to the next ‘Antiques Road Show.’”
“Trump had a meeting with Ted Cruz. He said he does not know why he agreed to fly to New York to meet Ted Cruz and then he promised to bring that kind of leadership to the Oval Office.”