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Hillary supporters, hold your nose and pull the Republican lever. It's your only shot for 2012.

Obama is for change, that's for sure, because change is all we'll have left after the tax hikes he proposes.

Both Obama and McCain support $50 billion in subsidized loans to bail out the failing U.S. auto industry. This presidential election will be “pick a socialist” day at the polls.

So now my United Way donation not only supports Gloria King's salary but also Bill Diehl's?

Ms. King is Robin Hood in reverse. She takes from the poor – teachers, policemen, firemen, mill workers – and gives to the rich … herself! Her band of merry men: the United Way board.

Thank God for Hillary Clinton's bitter supporters. If they help us elect John McCain, he'll appoint conservative judges who will overturn Roe v. Wade.

When the Republicans rise at their convention to give Bush & Cheney a standing ovation for the last eight years, I'll know whom to vote for in the presidential election.

Two senators on the ticket? How's anyone going to make a decision?

So the U.S. has agreed to a timetable for withdrawal. Doesn't that alert the enemy and admit defeat?

Ol' Joe's always good for a gaffe. I'm just Biden my time 'til he puts his foot in his mouth.

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