Laugh Attacks


“You know, it's amazing, Barack Obama won in Florida and still became president. That never happens. In fact, today, Democrats are asking for a recount. They can't believe they won.”

“And, of course, it was a huge celebration over at Barack Obama headquarters, otherwise known as MSNBC.”

“Hey, did I call it or what? Six months ago I predicted Ralph Nader would come in third. Did I call it?”

“You know, do you realize this is our first black president since the first season of ‘24'?”


“Ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama is our new president. And I think I speak for most Americans when I say, anybody mind if he starts a little early?”

“At the end of the evening, the electoral vote count was 349 for Obama, 148 for McCain. Or, as Fox News says, too close to call.”

“Did you see the concession speech last night? John McCain was generous. He was gracious. He was statesman-like. And I was thinking well, he should have tried that earlier.”


“After Barack Obama was declared the winner, President Bush called Obama, promised to work with him to guarantee a smooth transition. Yeah. Yeah, when we heard this, Obama said, ‘Thanks, but you've done enough.'”


“The real challenge, though, is for Joe Biden because he's got to figure out how to get Dick Cheney out of the vice presidential mansion. As you know, Dick Cheney is armed and has a history of shooting old men.”