Can singles in Charlotte really start a relationship via Tinder?

This is Ted. Hi there. Katie mentioned that she met her boyfriend on Tinder. I’ve heard a lot of Tinder chatter around Charlotte, so we thought we’d give you a she says/he says version of a real Charlotte Tinder experience/success.

• She = Katie Levans – 29, Marketing Director at Tresata, originally from Woodstock IL
• He =Nick Loveluck – 32, student at Charlotte School of Law, originally from Richmond VA

(1) How does Tinder work?

She says: Tinder is a dating app that uses geolocation to present to you a seemingly never-ending stream of nearby singles for potential dates, heartbreak and/or just endless entertainment. You’re given photos of nearby potential matches and then can “like” or “pass” someone by swiping right or left, respectively. If both parties swipe right, you’re matched up and can begin text conversations, which should presumably lead to a real life date if you’re lucky or creepy pics if you’re not. Some people call it shallow, but it’s not a whole lot different from approaching someone you find attractive at a bar except that the potential rejection is way less awkward on the other side of a phone screen.

He says: It is a picture based dating application that allows you to instantly judge someone on their appearance, but also includes a few sentences below that picture, which are rarely read if they don’t pass the initial picture review. If you both swipe right or match it could mean one of two things. One, you found them attractive or two, you were tricked by Instagram-style filters. It was entertaining to go through the pictures, and matching with people. But messaging people on it was just as awkward, at least for me, as approaching someone in a bar.

(2) How many Charlotteans do you think are on Tinder?

She says: I think there are a ton of Charlotteans on Tinder. There are new faces every time you open it up. Sometimes you see people you already know, which is a little odd, but for the most part it’s just this endless buffet of arguably eligible strangers. The catch is you just don’t know who’s going to end up being a total sleaze, but the beauty of that is that unlike in real life, you can just block the weirdos. I think my Tinder experience is really rare in that it wasn’t a negative one. Aside from one guy inviting me to “weird type of party” (edited), I didn’t get creepy messages. So I guess overall I’d say Charlotte’s selection of Tinder men is a respectable bunch.

He says: Considering it is an application that uses your location to determine potential matches and I used to keep it to a 10-mile radius, there were a lot of Charlotteans in that radius. I had deleted it a few times, but I when I was just matching for fun, I had around a five hundred women within my search criteria. I would think there are probably a lot of men on this app, too. Men are always looking for the next best way to get a woman’s attention. There are definitely a lot of women on the app. I wasn’t much of sender of messages, but I would respond if I got any. The strangest was an older woman asking me to exchange pictures. Most were harmless, and I never really took any of it seriously.

(3) How long were you on Tinder before you settled down with your current boyfriend?

She says: I think I downloaded the app in March 2014. My friends were all on it and I’d just ended a long relationship and was back on the market with all this weird new technology I’d never seen. I’d never done any form of online dating and was pretty horrified by the concept. After making fun of my friends profusely for their Tinder habits, I went home one night and downloaded it. I had matches and conversations with dozens of men and went on dates with two before Nick and I went out in June. We both deleted the app after that. I sincerely hope I never go on another first date again.

He says: I downloaded the app on New Years Eve in Washington D.C., while visiting some friends for the holiday. They had all been on it for a little while and suggested I try it.  We turned it into a game, seeing who could get the most matches, and I did surprisingly well in the Northern Virigina/Maryland area. I deleted it after a month or so, and then downloaded it again in May. Some messages were exchanged between a few girls and myself. I met with one of them, but she was an insane party girl. (Who plays a drinking game, while at a bar?) I kept the app, even though it seemed like a waste of time. One day Katie messaged me, and we haven’t looked back.

(4) You must have to have pretty good text chatter to stand out on Tinder. How did the texting go?

She says: We’d been matched for at least a month before we started talking, and I’d like to point out for the record that I had to initiate the conversation. Nick said something in his profile about not liking Uptown so the very first thing I said was: “I live in Plaza Midwood and hate Uptown too. We should hang out some time.” Those are both true statements. (Sorry, Uptown!)

He says: You don’t need to be text savvy at all to do well on Tinder. You just have to be on. I had lots of matches, but like I said I never really went out of my way to start conversations with people because I thought it was awkward. Katie initiated the conversation. Katie said we need to hang out. I can’t remember what her profile said, but I remember that she had pretty blue eyes, and curly dark hair, so she definitely passed the picture test.

She says: I definitely didn’t mention that I had three cats in my profile. The whole relationship has been built on a lie.

(5) At what point did you all take it to the next level and meet in person?

She says: I was on the way back from the beach with my family on June 22, 2014 when I decided to kill time in the back seat of my sister’s car by trolling through Tinder. (Standard.) Nick and I had matched a while back and never connected so I just decided to reach out. It just so happened that he was also sitting in the backseat of a car on a drive back from Tennessee so we texted back and forth for our respective four-hour rides until our phones died. Before battery power gave out, we set up a date for that Friday, June 27.

He says: I was on the way home from a trip to Knoxville, TN. I got a message from Katie, and of course showed my friends that I got a message. I started to talk to her, and then just gave her my number. Messaging on Tinder isn’t that great, so I figured if she was really interested I would just give her my number and see what happened. We had a long text conversation, and she seemed like a normal person who had a similar personality. We kept talking on text for a while, and set up a date.

She says: He has since learned that I am not a normal person.

(6) What was your first date like?

She says: It was cute. We went to dinner at Thai Taste, then got drinks at 22 and then shut it down at Common Market Plaza Midwood. He kissed me at my front door around 2am and asked me to come to a party at his Crossfit gym the next night. (I did.) The rest is history. We have recreated that night with dinner at Thai Taste on (or around) the 27th of each month for the last eight months.

I don’t remember being particularly nervous to go out with Nick that night. We had continued texting all week leading up to it and I could tell he was mildly freaking out so I think that made me feel like I was in control. I dressed way down (red jeans and a white t-shirt) and just felt really comfortable and unfazed. I will say that he is actually way more insanely good looking in person than his Tinder profile showcased, which was mildly shocking in a good way. No complaints.

He says: Our first date was at Thai Taste. I love Thai food, and after all the texts it became known that Katie was a vegetarian. I knew that Thai restaurants typically offer a good vegetarian menu, so going there worked out well. Katie was everything I expected. (I’ve been tricked before by online profiles.) We talked about Tinder for a little, as I am always interested the the female perspective, because I know how terrible a lot of men are. I asked her out again for the very next night.

(7) Do you recommend Tinder to single Charlotte as a way to meet people? Why or why not?

She says: You should absolutely try Tinder. Having stumbled upon the love of my life on something so ridiculous as Tinder has made me a bigger fan of it than if I had just consistently received private pics from weirdos on it. But I guess each experience is unique. I liked it because I’m an introvert and I’d rather die than try to hit on a guy in a bar. Under the veil of Tinder I guess I felt a lot braver. I was so judgmental and reluctant to try it out, and I’m glad I did so I would definitely recommend that others who have their doubts just give it a go. Also it’s free. What do you have to lose?

He says: I would recommend Tinder. I mean, I never felt like any of these women were any danger to me. Just be careful, because someone might come up to you in a bar and ask you if you’re Nick from Tinder because they saw that you were within a mile of their phone. That’s weird. For women, I would think that there should be more of a vetting process since there are a lot of creepers out there. The first picture I sent Katie was a picture of Arby’s curly fries and not a shirtless selfie, or other pictures of the male anatomy, which is apparently a very common thing that happens to women on Tinder. I would just say that it can work, just like any other dating app.

This story was originally published February 26, 2015 at 12:42 AM with the headline "Can singles in Charlotte really start a relationship via Tinder?."