5 things in Charlotte we’d like to see super-sized

Ken Grossman, founder of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., is bringing something obnoxiously large to North Carolina.

No, it’s not Honey Boo Boo.

It’s Crowlers, massive 32-ounce cans of beer that will be on tap at the brewery he’s opening in Mills River (a town in Henderson County that’s about a two-hour drive west of uptown). You can also find them at Salud Beer Shop in NoDa.

In honor of all things big, here are 5 other things in Charlotte we would like to see super-sized:

(1) The Firebird

Where else are you going to find a 17-foot, 5-inch chicken shaped from mirrors and glass? Exactly. Why not give her a taller perch to stand on, a longer, more robust neck and maybe an extra wing or two? Perhaps one day we too can have our own mutant chicken statue to brag about.

(2) The Earth Angel sign

Because Independence Boulevard is slowly becoming a desolate wasteland a la “Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome,” business owner Paul Williams decided to add a sign in front of his bikini and lingerie shop that reads: “Yes, we’re still open.” It’s his way of stopping motorists who typically hurry past the eyesore of a shopping plaza where his business is located.

Well, we like small businesses. And, we like lingerie. In the name of commerce, let’s make the sign bigger.

(3) Charlotte’s skyline

Let’s get real: The Bank of America Corporate Center’s 60 floors really don’t scream bustling metropolis. Don’t get us wrong. We love the skyline. It’s beautiful. It’s great. But it’s small, and our larger buildings are staggered in random places that make the Queen City’s skyline look like a 4-year-old child’s Etch A Sketch.

But hey, we still have the tallest skyscraper in North Carolina and the buildings are pretty at night … but wouldn’t it be nice to go BIG?

(4) I-485 in south Charlotte

Last we heard, a transportation committee decided that rush hour traffic and lines of orange cones on I-485 really aren’t that big of a deal and so a silly little carpool lane that would provide some relief would be a silly waste of $1 million.

Instead, the completed-highway-that-never-was will remain packed and the push for the toll lanes will continue. We want bigger highways!!!!

(5) 7-Eleven: More slurpees, bigger slurpees… ‘nuff said

Jonathan McFadden writes about entrepreneurship and small business for the Charlotte Observer but previously covered crime, courts and public safety for the Rock Hill Herald (meaning he always has the best stories at the dinner table). Follow him on Twitter @JmcfaddenObsBiz.

This story was originally published April 14, 2015 at 11:26 AM with the headline "5 things in Charlotte we’d like to see super-sized."