Why Joanne Spataro likes to do it in bed. Interview newsmakers, that is.
Joanne Spataro is what we’d call a character. She’s New York loud, wears bright lipstick and describes herself as swarthy. Joanne’s also cornered herself an odd little niche: Doing online interviews of local newsmakers while lying in bed. She calls it “Pillow Talk.” It’s a quirky riot.
So is Joanne. Follow along:
Q. Why do you do interviews in bed?
It’s an easy commute for me. Seriously, people are more comfortable in bed than any other place in their daily life. It’s where they do routine things like eating, sleeping, reading the paper, playing Parcheesi with that special someone. It’s also where we might have a platonic sleepover with our pals — braiding each other’s hair, saying who we really have a crush on or counting the days until a couple we hate breaks up. We our most ourselves in bed.
Q. You’ve interviewed mayoral candidates, Broadway stars and authors in bed. Who would be a big score for you?
As for a celebrity, it would have to be Javier Bardem. He makes me weak in the knees, and as I said a few months ago, I’m gay but not dead. I can love him with my eyes all I want.
As for a local person in Charlotte, I would love to have a three-way with Charlotte City Council members John Autry and LaWana Mayfield. They stood up for the full public accommodations ordinance – which would have protected transgender people who use public restrooms – when a lot of people said they should have approved of the watered-down ordinance that stripped out protections for transgender people. All three of us need to be in hats and boas while talking politics.
I’m fine with making it a four way if (state) Senator Jeff Jackson is into it. We can all get slumber party giggles.
Q. Who’s been the best guest so far?
I don’t like to say who’s best in bed, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses in that department. The most entertaining for me was my time with Jonathan Hadley, actor and original cast member of the Broadway musical Jersey Boys. During the shoot, he was talking on his banana phone while I was on my rotary phone. At the end of our bit, he unpeeled his phone. I almost started snort laughing during taping.
Q. I loved your parody commercial making fun of the “Hers” feminine hygiene product that our former mayor Patrick Cannon claimed he was selling (he’s now in prison for corruption). Did you get any orders?
Only from my gynecologist, but I’m pretty sure that was a pity order.
Q. You’re a humorist, but you also have a serious side to you — advocating for LGBT issues. What do you hope to accomplish in your writing for this cause?
Equality and justice for my community. I came out to my parents as a lesbian when I was 16, and my friends in my early 20s. I had to come out on the cover of QNotes last year for people to finally stop asking me when I was going to get a boyfriend. When a dim co-worker asked me how I “got involved in the lifestyle,” I copied and pasted the article link in a reply email. I still have to come out sometimes, so the copy and paste function has become a real time-saver.
Serious issues and comedy are interrelated, since pain plus time equals comedy. You can’t be funny without being educated in what’s going on in the world around you.
Q. What are you working on when you’re not in bed?
I write op-eds and articles about pop culture and LGBT issues. I’m particularly excited about what I’m doing this year: I’ve been accepted into the Wildacres Residency Program, where I will spend one week in the mountains finishing the rough draft of my upcoming book of essays, I’m the Worst: How I Became a Human Woman. It’s a coming-of-age tale about how my queer, swarthy woman self grew up in the South. You can only imagine how puffy my hair was as an Italian/Cuban/Greek/Puerto Rican/Jewish/Irish 15-year-old. I’m hoping it appeals to readers who have similar experiences and those who are just curious to know what kind of astringents finally worked on my oily skin.
About 300 people applied for the residency and only about 70 were accepted, so I’m deeply honored to be included.
Photos: Randall Whitworth
This story was originally published March 30, 2015 at 12:11 PM with the headline "Why Joanne Spataro likes to do it in bed. Interview newsmakers, that is.."