Around Town

7 seatmates you may encounter while riding the light rail

Charlotte’s light rail makes traversing South Boulevard to and from uptown a pretty slick form of transport.

Judging by the perpetually full Sharon Road West station parking lot where I like to catch the Blue Line, it appears plenty others enjoy riding the train, too. For me, the clickity-clack and womb-like rocking makes my commute an oasis of serenity.

Until I’m joined by less-than-stellar seat mates.

I’ve found they fall into 7 categories. So that you may benefit from my experience, I’ve created a guide — complete with a “seatmate desirability” rating on a scale of 1-10:

Earbud dude

Recognized by: Earbuds and lanyard draped across chest. Faint, tinny sound of Jay Z emanating from both sides of head.

Seat sharing experience: He rocks back and forth to a beat you can’t comprehend.

Seatmate desirability: At least you don’t have to worry about striking up an uncomfortable conversation.

Dressed to kill

A model presents a creation by Indian designer Manish Arora as part of his Fall/Winter 2010/11 women's collection show during Paris Fashion Week on March 4, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol (FRANCE - Tags: FASHION IMAGES OF THE DAY)
A model presents a creation by Indian designer Manish Arora as part of his Fall/Winter 2010/11 women's collection show during Paris Fashion Week on March 4, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol (FRANCE - Tags: FASHION IMAGES OF THE DAY) PASCAL ROSSIGNOL REUTERS

Recognized by: Heels so tall that small children can crawl under her shoes.

Seat sharing experience: Glares out the window, punctuated by short bursts of disdainful looks in your direction.

Seatmate desirability: 10 However, there is no chance she will talk with you. Zero.

IT Guy

Recognized by: Giant iPhone7.

Seat sharing experience: Places giant backpack on seat next to you — making you look rude to subsequent riders – while he texts nonstop the entire time.

Seatmate desirability: 1 All you can think is if you made the money he makes, you wouldn’t ride the train.

Bike Messenger

Recognized by: Bike pants, toe-clip-shoes and fixed gear wide frame messenger bike.

Seat sharing experience: They always stand and smell vaguely like Jimmy Johns.

Seatmate desirability: 1 Their stationary sport blocks you in when you try to leave the train.

Corporate Drone

Recognized by: BOA logos on shirt, travel coffee mug and bag. Blank, zombie-like stare.

Seat sharing experience: You feel her tension level and blood pressure rise the closer you get to Third Street/Convention Center station.

Seatmate desirability: 10 Compared to her, your job looks fantastic.

Not-from-here

Recognized by: Clutching Charlotte magazine, Creative Loafing and CRVB visitor’s guide.

Seat sharing experience: Constantly asking for your take on restaurants at every stop – “Oooh- Tupleo Honey!! How’s that??”

Seatmate desirability: 5 Can be exhausting.

Chatty phonemeister

Recognized by: You’ll hear them before you see them. On their phone the entire ride.

Seat sharing experience: Extreme TMI.

Seatmate desirability: 0 Move immediately.

via GIPHY

This story was originally published December 6, 2015 at 9:01 PM with the headline "7 seatmates you may encounter while riding the light rail."

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