5 ways to work through the wedding jitters
Two hours before my wedding, I panicked. Thoughts of uncertainty about what I was about to do filled my head. I called my husband-to-be and asked, “Are we doing the right thing?” He said, “Of course.” My anxiety was lifted, and we were married 19 years ago in the Rose Garden at Independence Park.
Wedding jitters are normal. One Charlotte minister, Reverend Diane Mowrey has married more than 100 couples over 30 years. She tells them, “If you aren’t nervous, then there is something wrong.” The enormity of what you are about to do – decide to spend the rest of your life with one person – should bring out the seriousness of what you are doing.
Two local couples talk with Carolina Bride about how they worked through their wedding jitter experiences:
Have the wedding of your dreams. Everyone wants to give you an opinion on what your wedding should look like. Months before Yvonne and Mike Madden married; Yvonne’s wedding jitters were intense. Outside pressure to have a large wedding caused her stress. She said, “There were times when I felt like I was suffocating.” Realizing that having a large wedding was not their style, they changed direction and Yvonne’s stress melted away. Yvonne and Mike were married on August 6, 2016 in an intimate ceremony at McGill Rose Garden.
Practice self-care. This is the time to indulge. Get a massage, pedicure and facial. Plan lunch with a friend you have not seen in a long time or take a walk at your favorite park. Wedding planning can take over your life and the simple things you enjoy are pushed aside. Yvonne and Mike hired a personal trainer for couple’s workouts before the wedding. They got physically stronger together, and were able to work as a team.
Spend time reflecting. Angela Nevill experienced what she would call “cold feet” sixteen years ago. She was about to marry her best friend, Justin Nevill, whom she had known since the second grade. She was unsure about her decision. Angela’s dad listened to her concerns and worries. She said, “In the end, I knew I was marrying my best friend.” She and Justin were married at Jetton Park. They have four children together, and she is glad she made the leap.
Lean on family and friends. It is hard to ask for help, but there are times when you need it. Let go of perfection-like ideals and divvy out the tasks to the people who have been begging to help. Bring a trusted friend with you for big decisions. Sharing the burden can lift some of the stress off your shoulders. Justin and Angela’s outdoor wedding required more hands-on help on the day of the wedding. Family pitched in by setting up chairs and tables.
Stay connected with your intended. The weeks before a wedding can be a frenzy of activity. Pre-wedding parties and last minute event prep may take up the usual downtime you and your fiancé would normally spend together. Yvonne and Mike started a regular date night during their engagement. They started with an outdoor activity like going to the USNWC and ended with dinner or a drink out. Yvonne said, “Everyday life is not very romantic. We try to do something romantic on our date nights, like go to our special restaurant, Beef ‘N Bottle.” Now that they are married, they have continued this tradition.
Vendors for Madden Wedding
Photographer: Robert Christopher Photography
Flowers: Nectar
Cake: Tizzert’s
Hair: Danielle Elizabeth
Makeup: Voga Beauty
Dress: David’s Bridal
This story was originally published November 9, 2018 at 5:01 PM with the headline "5 ways to work through the wedding jitters."