You can have your picture-perfect Christmas plans. I’ll pass.
My life is busy. I’m betting yours is, too. And no, it does not slow down just so Ol’ St. Nick can weasel his way down my chimney, no matter what Pinterest wants me to believe.
So all these photos of plaid-clad families, merrily decking the halls can save it because me and my crew are letting go of holiday expectations the internet has placed upon us. Here are a few of them you can give up, too—guilt-free.
Getting the tree the day after Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving has come and gone and with that, the opportunity to ring in the Christmas season with all the early birds. We swore we’d be one of “those families” that started the holidays off as early as humanly possible, but guess what? We’re not. One kid got sick, the dog threw up, and the baby peed on the floor, so the Tannenbaum will just have to wait.
Picture-perfect holiday cards
I have three kids and a dog, and I’m lucky to get us all in the same room when food is on the table, much less to sit perfectly still, staring into a self-timed camera smiling happily. Drop it.
To the people with perfect cards, I’m assuming you either bribed or threatened your loved ones to take the g*ddamn photo and to just at least act happy about it. (This isn’t such a bad tactic, now that I think about it.) To those of us who just got 1.5 kids in a photo on Facebook, much less a printed and mailed card, that’ll just have to do.
Outdoor decorations
The leaves that fell off the trees weeks ago still grace our front yard, and I will be darned if I am going to blow them into trash bags anytime between now and next spring. This means you’re not likely to see one of those giant blow-up snow globes or those lighted balls hanging from the trees, like in Plaza Midwood. We have been meaning to get a ladder to reach our roof to hang lights from the gutters (that still need to be cleaned out), so I’m guessing this will just have to wait until next year (or the next…). Shout out to my next door neighbor, though, who already has a pristine display. No competition here.
Gingerbread houses
No. All the no. I don’t want to take the time to bake an edible gingerbread home when I can’t even keep my actual home together, much less adhese these confections with some too-sticky icing, hoping it stays together until the New Year. It’s not happening, my friend. If you need me, I’ll be eating the candy that was supposed to line the tiny windows and walkway.
Advent calendars
Every November in Trader Joe’s, I see those cute little 99-cent advent calendars and think to myself “I’ll get those in December!”, which I conveniently forget, and suddenly it’s the 14th and we’ve already missed the first two weeks. The years I have remembered to grab one, we miss most of the days, just giving my kids and me a reason to binge-eat all the chocolate that’s been skipped over. Actually, this isn’t a terrible tradition.
Holiday entertaining
Wouldn’t it be nice if you hosted the family Christmas party this year? Everyone drinking hot cocoa and hot toddies by the fire, discussing Christmas of long, long ago? Not in the cards for your family? Don’t stress and save yourself the hassle. Half your family will complain that you live too far away, and the others will show up half-drunk or still mad from Easter and fight over the white elephant gifts.
Charlotte Christmas Village
So, I haven’t made it out this year yet, but some on TripAdvisor labeled last year’s highly-publicized Charlotte Christmas Village a “bust.” This seems to sum up a lot of these Christmas expectations we have. Sure, we all want lovely little German cottages and warm beverages and handmade gifts, but sometimes all we’re left with is white tents crammed in a row. So, if it’s cold and the whole experience is a little more kitsch than idyllic, just grab another glass of glühwein—that’s probably the best part anyway.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a strong drink.
Photos: houseincharlotte.com, Pinterest, Pexels
This story was originally published December 14, 2017 at 12:00 AM with the headline "You can have your picture-perfect Christmas plans. I’ll pass.."