41 people, places and things I fully believe in as I turn 41
When I was younger my mom would sneak into my bedroom in the early morning hours of January 9, crawl into bed with me and say, “Good Morning, pumpkin! It’s 5:52 a.m. and that’s my favorite minute because that’s the very moment that you came into the world and into my life. Happy Birthday, baby! I sure do love you, So-So.”
My mom and I had a turbulent, often sad relationship. She was a drug addict and her addiction took away so much from us. It took away my belief in her and in my belief of others’ intentions.
However, for a few pre-dawn minutes every January 9, I believed that all was right in the world. I was secure.
This is the tenth birthday that I haven’t gotten a call from my mom. She died two months before I turned 32. I miss her, no more so than at 5:52 a.m. on January 9. Although I lost her, I spent my thirties finding out who I really am and determining what I truly believe in.
In celebration of the beginning of my 41st trip around the sun, here are 41 people, places and ideas that I fully believe in.
I believe…
(1) in kindess.
(2) in true, unending love.
(3) that my daughter, Conley, possesses a special brand of magic.
(4) that a good hug can change your entire perspective.
(5) that my husband, Tony, is one helluva guy.
(6) in friends who pop bottles of champagne in times of joy and celebration, and bring casseroles in times of heartbreak and grief.
(7) despite all that she put me through, my mom truly loved me.
(8) in moving forward.
(9) that if you have to make a choice between being kind or being right; always choose kindness.
(10) in belly laughs; in well-timed winks.
(11) in hard work; in luck; in miracles.
(12) in hope; in the new day on the horizon.
(13) that if you’re fortunate enough to have a partner you adore, you should kiss him/her every day.
(14) in sunscreen; in moisturizer.
(15) in staying in with a good book and a warm blanket.
(16) that sometimes you need to accept help.
(17) in black coffee; in red wine.
(18) in acceptance; in tolerance; in forgiveness.
(19) in science; in reason; in logic; in evolution.
(20) that deep, unexpected friendships are made over a French Press at Amelie’s.
(21) that sex isn’t shameful, but sexual predators are.
(22) that women are going to change the narrative.
(23) in #metoo; in #handsupdontshoot
(24) in telling people that you love them – in words and actions.
(25) that you should take the trip, get the tattoo, eat the cake, buy the ticket.
(26) that there is abuse of the system, but the system is still necessary.
(27) in the right to choose – what to do with your body, and who you love.
(28) that the Manor Theater has the best popcorn I’ve ever had.
(29) in saying “excuse me,” “please,” “thank you” and “you’re welcome;” in giving my seat to an elder.
(30) that there is no one tougher than my grandmother.
(31) in tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches.
(32) in fighting the good fight.
(33) that oceans and mountains are good for your soul.
(34) that Charlotte sunsets will never cease to take my breath away.
(35) that we should listen more and send hand-written cards.
(36) that New York City will always make my body feel electrified.
(37) in late-night conversations with my soul-sister.
(38) that you can vehemently disagree with someone and still love them.
(39) that the WVU Mountaineer and Carolina Panthers will continue to break my heart, but that I’ll love them anyway.
(40) that I am done being brutal to myself.
(41) that free-lunch kids of drug addicts can find happiness by owning who they are.
This story was originally published January 8, 2018 at 11:00 PM with the headline "41 people, places and things I fully believe in as I turn 41."