I should be comfortable saying my name is ‘Richard Boner’

Editor’s note: This opinion piece was first published by the Charlotte Observer on Dec. 3, 2009 and is the first in our new series featuring some of the most interesting thought pieces from the Observer archives that are still relevant to us today. 

At the time he wrote this article, Richard Boner was a resident Superior Court judge in Mecklenburg County. Former Observer reporter Mark Washburn had just written about public concerns raised over the naming of a new north Mecklenburg high school after W. A. Hough., former principal at North Meck. The concern: Essentially, that people would nickname it “Ho” High School. Or “Huff.” In the narcotics way.

As Washburn put it: “Mr. Hough is a victim of Personal Unfortunate Name Syndrome,” and the school should be named for him because the honor of his name “will transcend the snickers.” The name Hough stuck, and Boner wrote for the Observer to discuss said “syndrome.”

From Richard D. Boner, resident Superior Court judge in Mecklenburg County:

I offer my kudos to columnist Mark Washburn for what he wrote in Wednesday’s Charlotte Observer concerning the naming of the new north Mecklenburg high school. I hope the school board will act like adults and proceed with naming the school after W. A. Hough. To change the name now puts the board members on the same level as the folks whose juvenile sense of humor prompted the change.

I am sensitive to the embarassment and harassment that one can suffer from an unusual last name, particularly a name like mine, which can be used as a sexual slang word. I have lived with the giggling and the smirks since my high school days. (I’m now 60.)

I still receive comments poking fun at my name even as a judge. The national columnist Dave Barry once wrote a column about a case in which I ruled and made an oblique reference to the connotation my name has. That column prompted others to join in.

I teach a night class at UNC Charlotte. At the first class of each semester, I introduce myself to the students and reference the connotation, because I know the smirks will be forthcoming anyway. I tell the students that I have heard the jokes before (e.g., Judge Boner hands down stiff sentence, Judge Boner presides over hung jury, etc.) It helps diffuse the situation.

When my son and daughter were younger, I gave them permission to pronounce our last name as “Bonn-er.” I didn’t want them to have to undergo needless embarassment. I sometimes find myself also pronouncing my name that way even though the correct pronunciation is “Bo-ner.”

I know that people can be cruel, particularly young people. However, it makes me angry that any of us, myself included, are put in the position of being reticent to say or publish their name. I know an attorney whose last name was Tiddy. He caught so much grief that he legally changed his last name.

I will not be ashamed of myself.

I am proud of my family. My ancestors were Moravians who settled in Old Salem. One of my ancestors, John Henry Boner, was a well-known, published poet and newspaperman. Another was the mayor of Salem during the Civil War.

My late father was a veteran who fought in World War II. I cannot accept that I should be ashamed of myself or my other family members because of an accident of birth.

As far as I am concerned, people who make fun of others because of their unusual names are the small people who build themselves up by trying to tear other people down. They are the types who find creativity in writing on the walls of public bathrooms.

In closing, I thank Mark Washburn for the opinion expressed in his column. My hope is that the school board will say “Grow up!” to those who want the name of the new high school changed.

Boner’s career as a judge spanned 27 years.

Photo: Todd Sumlin

This story was originally published January 11, 2018 at 10:00 PM with the headline "I should be comfortable saying my name is ‘Richard Boner’."