14 of the worst Valentine’s Day gifts Charlotte women have received—including brownie mix, an empty fish tank, and a faulty marriage license

The best gift received may not always be the most memorable. Sometimes it’s the worst ones that stay with you forever.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend gave me a life-size stuffed gorilla for Valentine’s Day. As you can imagine, I told all my friends about it. A friend pulled me aside a couple of days later to show me an article in the local newspaper about a stationery store’s mascot being stolen. The photo of the gigantic gorilla looked strangely familiar.

A photo of the getaway car with its license plate blocked by a rag was included with the story. I easily recognized the car as my boyfriend’s. The store wanted the gorilla back, no questions asked. My friend offered to go with me, and so we dropped it off without incident.

I wish I could say I broke up with that boyfriend right then, but it took a few years.

When I asked on Charlotte social media, “What’s the worst Valentine’s Day gift you ever received?” I couldn’t have predicted the responses people gave – some can still channel their inner anger about the situation while others are grateful they didn’t end up with the gift-giver.

Here are the top 14

1.

“During the height of Match.com I met some special people, lol! One guy who took me out on Valentine’s Day had me paying for dinner, the movie, but the last straw was when he pulled up at the gas station, and said, ‘time to pony up for gas.’ I said, no thanks. He refused to drive me home, and I had to call my girlfriend to pick me up.” – JH

2.

“My mom gave my high school boyfriend $50 to buy me something nice. He bought me an $8 teddy bear and kept the rest of the money.” – KP

3.

“My husband was the gift-giver in this story. When he was in elementary school he had a ‘girlfriend’. He saved his money to get his girlfriend a Valentine, but he was embarrassed to ask his mom to take him to the store. So, he took his $1.50 to school, gave it to her and told her to go buy her own Valentine gift. She broke up with him.” – HR

4.

“I got the typical last-minute balloon and card. Here’s the kicker — he didn’t even take the time to sign the card. No name on the outside or any kind of note or signature on the inside.” – MM

5.

“During my freshman year of college, we ‘split’ a meal from one of the on-campus short order cafés. He ate the meal and gave me the leftover curly fries and a chocolate bar, then left me alone to go study.” – KB

6.

“A guy brought me flowers that he picked in a vase and told me he would need the vase back.” – TM

7. 

“He gave me a gas station stuffed animal bought by his mother because he forgot. We were in our early twenties.”- BK

8. 

“A vacuum because he hated my dog’s hair.” – AN

9. 

“A fish tank, with no fish in it. I asked why he got it for me and he said, ‘I thought we could fill it together with fish?’ And I found a bunch of old books in his room about aquariums. I was pretty sure it was his old fish tank.” – HD

10.

“I found out the week of Valentine’s Day that my brand-spanking-new marriage wasn’t valid because he hadn’t divorced his first wife.” – SH

11.

“About six years ago I received an anonymous gorgeous bouquet for Valentine’s Day. I had zero clue who sent it to me, but I expected to know by the end of the day. No one ever said anything. A couple of days later, I found out that my next-door neighbors were on the outs because the husband had not gotten the wife anything for Valentine’s Day, and he ‘lied’ about sending her a big bouquet of amazing flowers. As it turned out, I had accidentally been sent HER flowers, but since there was no note, I jumped to the conclusion that I had a secret admirer, and apparently caused marital problems in the process.” – RW

12.

“When I was in middle school my ‘boyfriend’ gave me a Washington, D.C. necklace. We lived in Tampa, Florida, and had no connection to D.C. I’m pretty sure it was a souvenir his mom bought from a trip she went on.” – BK

13.

“My college boyfriend once got me a box of brownie mix as a present. When I asked him why, he said, ‘I know you love to bake.'” – MC

14.

“A high school boyfriend gave me some of his mom’s jewelry that she later asked to be returned.” – EB

Honorable Mentions

“My first Valentine’s gift was a small stuffed giraffe that made a leaf-chewing sound when you squeezed it. He was my true 4th-grade love.” – CT

“I had a boyfriend send me roses from jail. He called me collect to make sure I got them.” – KK

“In fourth or fifth grade, my ‘boyfriend’ bought me the single cassette tape to Sisters with Voices (SWV), ‘I get so weak in the knees’. Actually, it was the best gift ever.” – JW

As for that gorilla? Ironically, my gorilla-stealing boyfriend and his accomplice went on to careers in law enforcement and the legal field.

Photo: Kari Cronbaugh-Auld AP

This story was originally published February 7, 2018 at 8:00 PM with the headline "14 of the worst Valentine’s Day gifts Charlotte women have received—including brownie mix, an empty fish tank, and a faulty marriage license."