Is brunch overrated?

Everywhere I look lately I see people talking about, planning for and even occasionally eating brunch. With the “Brunch Bill” becoming law and allowing people to drink before noon on Sundays (once Charlotte City Council approves it) it seems like the whole city is ready to start filing into restaurants every Sunday morning for the chance to partake in this social phenomenon.

While this will likely be a boon for local businesses and a great chance for people to meet up and interact in new settings and environments, I can’t help but wonder whether or not brunch is really as important as people have made it out to be. Out of respect for Ron Swanson, Waffle House, and every Ma and Pop breakfast diner around the city from Liberty East to Jonathan’s, I present to you my case against brunch, a great idea in theory but not so much in practice.

(1) Only tailgaters should drink at 10 a.m.

Have you been to a Panthers game lately? Ever notice how some of the rowdier fans happen to be the guys who arrived at the lot way earlier than everyone else? That’s the crowd that starts drinking at 10 a.m., and while it’s socially acceptable at football games with chaos on the field and in the men’s rooms, it’s not so cool when you’re in a chic concept restaurant located somewhere in Dilworth.

(2) Brunch is pricey.

Paying $10 a plate is fine for lunch or dinner, but I don’t need someone to throw some fancy adjectives in front of the food on the menu and expect me to pay twice as much for an omelet that I could get at any greasy spoon diner. Keep your “pickled, fennel, grass-fed, okra-rubbed-shaman approved eggs benedict,” I’ll stick to the livermush and two eggs over medium that has been feeding Charlotteans for generations for half the price.

(3) Brunch is crowded.

I don’t know about you, but when I wake up in the morning I don’t particularly enjoy hearing about what Becky wore last night and why it’s a fashion travesty. More importantly, I don’t like to hear all of this coming from the table behind me while I try to just finish my chocolate milk (because apparently I am a 10 year old and still drink milk at breakfast but this is beside the point). Lines for brunch in establishments around the city are regularly out the door and it’s hard to imagine that getting any better now that the Brunch Bill has passed.

(4) What do you do with the rest of your day?

I’m sure it’s a great feeling to walk out of brunch a couple mimosas deep and see that the afternoon is only just getting started. I’m not so sure it’s a great feeling an hour later when you’re battling drowsiness and you aren’t quite sure if you want to leave the couch or, worse yet, if you need to find an Uber or Lyft home. Breakfast was designed to fuel people and prepare them for a long day ahead while brunch puts the brakes on that concept early on.

Call me a grump or someone who hates a perfectly enjoyable dining event, but I think maybe brunch isn’t the end all-be all of social experiences. Breakfast is meant to be enjoyed, alcohol is meant to be enjoyed, and even certain situations we’re you’re surrounded by crowds in the day-time are meant to be enjoyed, but combining them all seems like it can be just too much of a good thing.

So you can keep your brunch foods and overpriced Bloody Mary bars and long lines because I’ll be busy scarfing down an unhealthy amount of biscuits and gravy while throwing back way more coffee than doctors recommend in the blissful peace and quiet that breakfast was meant to be enjoyed in.

Photo: Diedra Laird/Charlotte Observer

This story was originally published July 21, 2017 at 12:45 AM with the headline "Is brunch overrated?."