How do you make friends as an adult in Charlotte? Use friend bait
This piece was originally published on July 25, 2017 by Alicia Thomas. It was last updated on March 30, 2018.
When I first moved to Charlotte, I knew two people: my boyfriend (who moved there with me and knew nobody) and one girl from college (who I’d seen a total of two times since graduating). I was working from home at the time, so I had no coworkers to befriend. I was at a loss for how to start building new relationships. I asked myself the same question so many Queen City newbies do: How do I make new friends as an adult in Charlotte?
That’s when I decided I needed some friend bait.
What is friend bait, you ask? It’s something that you use to make friends more easily, without seeming too desperate. My friend bait of choice was a Central Perk tote bag. I figured I’d bring the bag out with me to a brewery, and anyone who commented on it would have to be someone who also loved the TV show “Friends,” so we’d automatically have at least one thing in common.
And it worked! The first night I visited a brewery on my own with this friend bait slung over my shoulder, a girl walked up to me and said, “I love your bag — ‘Friends’ is one of my favorite shows! Where did you get it?”
This led to a conversation about me getting the bag in New York City at the Central Perk pop-up the year before, which led to conversation about where we were both from (since pretty much everyone in Charlotte is a Northerner who got sick of the cold), which led us to talk about our current jobs … and by the end of the night, we had exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up again. Three years later, we’re still great friends.
It was that easy, all thanks to my friend bait.
So, what can you use for friend bait of your own? Here are a few ideas.
(1) Apparel related to your favorite TV show, movie, band, musical, etc.
Whether you love “Friends” like me, are a “Star Wars” geek, a Red Hot Chili Peppers groupie, a “RENT”head, or you’ve got any other distinct passion that has cultivated a fan base, show it off.
Wearing an item that clearly displays something you love is a simple way to a) find people who share your passion, and b) make it easy for those people to start a conversation with you about that passion.
(2) Your alma mater.
Alumni pride is real, y’all. As a Penn State grad, I’ve got it pretty easy—if I see someone with a PSU hoodie on, all I have to do is shout “WE ARE!” and they scream back “PENN STATE!” and we’re automatically best friends who take shots together, reminisce about our nights at The Phyrst, and try to avoid bringing up JoePa.
But I’m thinking aside from Alabama grads yelling “Roll tide!” at one another, the interactions for most alumni would be something more along the lines of seeing someone with an App State t-shirt on and saying, “Hey, you went to App? Me too! What did you study?” Boom. Friendship initiated. You’re welcome.
(3) Dogs.
Bringing your pup out to a coffee shop, brewery, dog park or anywhere else in Charlotte is basically a guaranteed way to meet people, since everyone will be walking up to tell you how cute your pooch is and asking to pet them. If the person approaching you has a dog, it’s an easy transition to setting up a puppy playdate and starting a friendship.
(4) Sports!
Are you a die-hard Steelers fan? Do you love the Penguins? Never miss a Pirates game? Is it clear I’m from Pennsylvania yet?
Whatever sports team you do follow, wearing that team’s jersey or hat makes it easy for other fans to find you and approach you to talk about the team, the season, or whatever else people bring up when they talk about sports. (Sorry, clearly out of my element here. See friend bait option one; I can talk to you about Harry Potter and NBC sitcoms all day.)
(5) Athletic gear or equipment.
Think about it: if you’ve got a yoga mat with you, it makes it easy for other yogis to come talk to you about where you practice, and for you to set up a time to try a new class together, whether at a brewery or a traditional studio. The same goes for a tennis racket, a bike (or even bike shorts), running shoes, or the equipment or gear associated with your workout of choice.
Bonus tips for making friends in Charlotte:
– Stay off of your cell phone or laptop. It’s easy to get nervous and start scrolling through Instagram when you’re out alone. But if people see that you’re sucked into a screen, it will make them less likely to approach you, even if you’ve got your friend bait displayed loud and proud.
– Get thee to a brewery. There are so many breweries in Charlotte and almost all of them offer fun activities that make it easy to meet new people. Whether you’re looking for something active (like a yoga class or run club) or something intellectual (like trivia or music bingo), there are plenty of options, and tons of new people to meet once you get there. And even if you hit up a brewery on a night they aren’t having an activity, beer is a social lubricant — it makes it easier to walk up and introduce yourself to a stranger.
– Put yourself out there! In all of the friend bait scenarios above, someone else is approaching you because of your friend bait. But keep an eye out for other people’s friend bait. If someone’s wearing a shirt from a show you love, or has a cute dog, or is sporting gear that shows they’re into the same activity you love, go up and introduce yourself. Explain that you share an interest and start up a conversation. This whole making friends thing is a two-way street, so put yourself out there. You’ll be glad you did.
What friend bait have you used successfully in the past? What other ways do you suggest people make friends here in the Queen City? Tell us in the comments.
Featured photo: Rémy Thurston
This story was originally published March 27, 2018 at 9:00 PM with the headline "How do you make friends as an adult in Charlotte? Use friend bait."