What to do when you’re tired of parenting
I get it — parenting is a lot of work.
I’ve been a parent for almost a decade now, which is a large percentage of my life. My undergrad was spent studying kids and families. My job now consists of writing about parenting and editing other people’s writing about parenting. I’m in a parenting collective, a member of the PTA and an avid reader of parenting-related literature. I do all things parenting.
Which is why, sometimes, I’m just tired of parenting.
Don’t act like you haven’t been there. I’m not saying I want to quit (not today, anyway). I write all the time about how rewarding parenting is and why it is so important to do it well. But like any important work, sometimes you just need to step back and take a break.
The good thing about needing a break? It’s human. Anne Lamott says, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it… including you.”
So how do you disconnect for a bit?
Zone out
I’m serious. Parenting involves so much brain power and intention that sometimes it’s nice to just not. When I want to zone out, I call upon my good friend, the Internet. Together we find some of the most pointless and time-consuming videos possible and we watch them until the baby wakes up.
Some of my favorites to watch are from imomsohard. You’re welcome.
Meditate
Code for this could be “run away”, but we’ll stick with meditate because it’s more socially acceptable. Find a quiet spot to run away — er, go — to. I almost always pick the kitchen or some obscure corner in our house, as far away from children as possible, my theory being that this will be the most quiet (or that they’ll never find me).
Get cozy. Take some deep breaths. Maybe try some guided mediations like those found in the MoveWith app. The good thing about mediating is that you don’t have to wait until you’re at your wits end to do it. It is a great preventive measure to keep you focused and sane throughout your day. Pro tip: start your day this way to set yourself up for mental clarity.
Read
And I don’t mean reading “Goodnight, Moon” or the “Giving Tree” for the 8 billionth time. Read something mindless. While I love a good thoughtful read, sometimes I just don’t. Sometimes I want to read something to help me escape my routine, something that makes me snort-laugh while I’m alone hiding from my kids while they’re doing God knows what.
When I’m in the escape zone, I almost always pick up David Sedaris. His life — no kids, constant traveling — is so different from mind that I couldn’t relate even if I wanted to. I accidentally just ordered his next book that comes out May 30, perfect for summer reading when the kids get out of school.
Nap
And this, my friends, is the top dog of peace-ing out. Baby sleeping? Take a nap. Kids at school? Take a nap. Movie playing? Take a nap.
You may say you’re one of those people who just can’t nap or can’t find time. Don’t be a martyr. It’s like Yoni Wolf of Why?’s lyric, “I’m like everybody else, is ashamed of sleep, I lie when a phone call wakes me.”
Don’t be embarrassed by your need to rest. Don’t find your worth in being able to constantly run on full blast — because nobody can and nobody expects that of you. Just go to sleep, right there in the middle of the afternoon like a cranky toddler, right in the armchair your grandmother passed down to you. Everyone will thank you for it.
Drink wine
Or beer. Or tequila. Alone or with friends. At 5 p. m. or at brunch. Don’t drink? Grab some tea. There’s nothing more relaxing than a soothing beverage, whatever form that may take. No, I’m not advocating for 2 p. m. public drunkenness but allowing yourself the space to unwind and be an adult for a little while is priceless.
Parenting is hard work. You truly do deserve a break.
Photo: Larry Steagall/AP
This story was originally published April 26, 2017 at 9:00 PM with the headline "What to do when you’re tired of parenting."