9 signs you’ve somehow become an adult in Charlotte

I’m 27 and I still wonder what day I’m going to wake up and truly, deeply feel like an actual, functioning adult. But there are still plenty of signs that my transition into adulthood has somehow happened anyway.

Here are nine signs you’ve become an adult in Charlotte:

(1) You’re just too tired to stay out late.

The work days are long. Your workout made you tired. Everything about the EpiCentre nightlife makes you cringe and really you’re just ready to tuck into some chips and guac at Bakersfield and maybe order that second margarita.

(2) Your friends just bought a house in Dilworth.

You catch yourself wondering when you’re going to stop renting and ascend to this level. Although, your first thought is still: When’s the party?

(3) You’ve just hired a summer intern.

A college student out there in the world has worked hard to prove that they are worthy of being hired by you at your startup or your uptown office. That young-un is looking to you for wisdom, course credit and applicable skills for their career path. Holy shit.

(4) Your car breaks down and you don’t call Dad.

You call a tow truck. Four hours and a tow-truck ride later, you call your significant other and fuss and vent about how expensive your stupid car repair is and did you make the right decision? Maybe you cry a little.

(5) Your coworker is expecting his first child.

Yes, you now have friends old enough to mindfully decide to create another human for this planet. And raise it.

(6) You negotiate a WiFi services refund.

You spend three hours of your weekend in a verbal war with six different customer service representatives about the failings of your WiFi router that won’t connect to your Spectrum device. By Sunday you have negotiated a $130 refund from Netgear because you are an Appreciative Yet Very Dissatisfied Customer. (Like a boss.)

(7) You paid your taxes!

And received your estimates for quarterly taxes to leach out of your independent contract work!

(8) You just got way too excited about your new BJ’s membership card.

Then you spent a solid half hour ogling the bulk-sized bags of frozen blueberries for your morning smoothies and troughs of spring mix for your sad desk lunch. By the time you emerge into the Metropolitan parking deck, by God are you proud of that two-pound bag of jumbo raisins you pulled off the shelf.

(9) You’re ready to get a dog.

You tolerate frequent PetFinder and/or Humane Society database updates from your significant other as you try to find a middle ground: Floppy ears? Medium-sized? Brown or black? And you’re ready to believe that you’re capable of nurturing something other than those pathetic herbs on your back patio.

Let’s face it. You work, you pay bills, you’re making commitments. You’ve accidentally turned into an adult.

Photo: Katie Toussaint

This story was originally published May 1, 2017 at 12:00 AM with the headline "9 signs you’ve somehow become an adult in Charlotte."