Why it doesn’t do any good to boycott the Netflix show ’13 Reasons Why’
I’m on episode seven of the controversial Netflix show “13 Reasons Why.” The drama revolves around the suicide of a teenage girl who leaves behind a series of cassette tapes explaining her reasons for killing herself, and instructions for a list of her high school classmates (many of whom she blames — so far — for her death) to listen to them.
It’s hugely popular in viewership — sparking more than 11 million tweets since its March 30 release — but it’s also widely despised.
Nationally, educators and school mental health professionals have warned parents that the graphic suicidal elements could cause a “contagion effect” among students with mental illness.
Fellow writer and local parent Jennifer Weintraub sent me an email saying her teenage son, who lost a friend to suicide, is insulted by the show because it’s glorifying suicide. [Related: Weintraub’s take on why suicide is not an option in her house.]
But according to actor Dylan Minnette, who is on the show, the goal for the series was to “start conversations that we think are necessary to be had and to bring these issues to light and to show them in a real way.”
I’m personally drawn to the show’s blatant discussion of suicide. It’s a topic that is so scary to talk about on any normal basis — and it’s being aired in 13, one-hour episodes.
I grew up around girls who self-harmed. An acquaintance I played tennis with ended her life after college graduation. And one of my friends lost her roommate and best friend to suicide.
I still watch the show. I watch it because the topic it explores is a real issue, and I can’t help being pulled in by that.
Even Weintraub wrote to me, “I’m sickened by the content, and yet I am completely drawn in. Every parent needs to see it.”
Yes, there are aspects of the show that I hate, like how dramatic, self-centered and blame-driven the main character is. But boycotting the show isn’t going to change anything.
It’s unrealistic to think Netflix will shut it down, no matter how much backlash it gets.
This was actually pointed out to me by motivational speaker Kevin Hines when I met him in Charlotte this week. He spoke at nonprofit residential mental health facility HopeWay on Monday and at McGlohon Theater on Tuesday.
And about 17 years ago, he jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge to kill himself. He became one of only 36 people to survive that jump.
Now, he said, realistically, “Netflix has one job: To entertain. Their job is not to prevent suicide.”
In a Huffington Post article, he went further to say of the “13 Reasons Why” producers: “They’ve broken open an immeasurable amount of worldwide talk about what it means to be suicidal. They are in turn showing many parents some of the true difficulties that face our youth and children today.”
Before he jumped off the bridge at age 19, all he wanted in the midst of his bipolar disorder was one person to notice him and ask, “Are you OK? Is something wrong? Can I help you?”
No one did.
He jumped.
And now he shares his story.
“I believe it is the suicide prevention community’s job to work tirelessly in this new age of media to create suicide prevention safe multimedia that is actually helping people stay alive,” he said.
He and his wife are producing a hope-based film called “Suicide: The Ripple Effect,” sharing stories of hope from Japan, to Australia, to the U.S. that can offer people who are hurting reasons to keep living.
I don’t care if I finish “13 Reasons Why.” I’m in no rush. I don’t care if other people watch it or don’t watch it, I don’t care if they love it or hate it.
After talking to Hines, what I care about is this: If you think someone is hurting, just ask them a question.
Are you OK? Is something wrong? Can I help you?
Photos: Beth Dubber/Netflix, KevinHines.com
This story was originally published May 2, 2017 at 11:00 PM with the headline "Why it doesn’t do any good to boycott the Netflix show ’13 Reasons Why’."