Ask a Boomer: Keeping up with the Joneses
I was shooting hoops with one of my neighbor’s kids (he’s 26) the other day when our conversation turned to apartment costs in Charlotte and subsequently living expenses in general.
“What’s really killing me,” said Zach, “is clubbing with my friends and eating out all the time, I have no savings and I’m also barely making my loan payments.”
When I asked him why he felt compelled to keep up with the “Joneses” and spend more than he could afford on entertainment, he looked at me incredulously and simply said these were his friends, this is what they did, and he enjoyed being with them.
One result of developing a broader base of friends as we get older is not only are they more diverse in terms of background and life experience, but their income levels and spending habits may differ considerably from our own as well.
Having friends who spend more — for whatever reason — than we care to doesn’t have to be a binary choice between keeping up or keeping away. There are other options.
When pressed, Zach acknowledged the camaraderie and just being with his crew was what he most enjoyed – independent of the venues where they chose to hang or how much he decided to spend. I offered him the following suggestions:
Set a budget for entertainment expenses and stick to it.
If you want to club and eat out with the guys, don’t try and keep up drink for drink or meal per meal. You can order an appetizer instead of a main and there’s nothing wrong with being a designated driver nursing a club soda on occasion.
Level with your friends.
There’s no need to be apologetic or go in depth into your financial state of affairs. A simple, “That’s outside of my budget,” is all you need to say. If your friends don’t understand that, you may want to think about some new friends.
Form an alliance.
You are not likely alone among your friends. You may find there is one – or more of your pals – in a similar boat as you and looking for ways to curtail the expenditures and maintain the good times. Other – less expensive – entertainment options will grow exponentially when more than one in your group shares the same goal as you.
Be an occasional host.
Invite your crew over to watch the game, play cards or grill out on the BBQ. You can provide snacks and ask your pals to bring the drinks.
Suggest lower cost alternatives.
There are plenty of good eats in this town where you don’t have to break the bank. Tee up some alternatives for your pals. You may find a new favorite.
Take a break.
A night or two off away from the scene is easy on the pocketbook and won’t put as big a crimp into your social life as you may think.
Have a question about life, love, money, career or anything else for the Boomer? Send it to: charlottefive@charlottefive.com with the subject line “Ask a Boomer.”
Photos: Diedra Laird/Charlotte Observer
This story was originally published July 25, 2016 at 11:00 PM with the headline "Ask a Boomer: Keeping up with the Joneses."