I used Bumble BFF to try to make friends in Charlotte and failed miserably. Here’s what I learned
By Paige Ladisic
From left, Jeffrey Edwards, Ashley Holmes, Nestor Bonilla, Jessica Sharp and Keyanna Arnett use their cell phones to play Pokémon Go at Augusta University in Augusta, Ga., Tuesday, July 12, 2016. (Michael Holahan/The Augusta Chronicle via AP)
Michael Holahan
AP
Charlotte can get a little lonely when you’re new to the city. Everyone else has grown up together or has a well-established group of work friends, and you are alone, sitting at Amelie’s with your laptop and more salted caramel brownies than you’re willing to admit.
Enter Bumble.
What is Bumble? It’s a dating app, essentially, but with a few extra features that separate it from Tinder. Specifically, the BFF mode. You can turn on BFF mode and be matched with other people of the same sex who are looking for friends in your area, without worrying about potentially uncomfortable interactions.
I took to BFF Mode to try and meet some friends and noticed a few trends.
I did not make any friends. This is my own fault, not Bumble’s. Someone, take pity on the new Charlottean and go to brunch with me.
Here are some tips for doing better than I did.
(1) Must love grass.
How to succeed at Bumble BFF: “I love the outdoors, grass, the sky, the sun, air, all outdoor creatures and just, you know, the outdoors.” (Add a few emojis of your favorite insects.)
Every single person — and I mean every single person — that I encountered in BFF Mode mentioned loving the outdoors, but I was amazed at how many people professed their love for all things green … and absolutely nothing else. Charlotte Bumblers use their profile space to profess their undying love for drinking on brewery patios, specific parks in Charlotte where they run or bike, and Lake Norman.
What if you don’t love the outdoors? I’m still trying to figure that out. I think it’s a deal breaker.
(2) Exercise.
Are you a yogi? Do you run 10 miles every day? Or have you only recently started “exercising” because you really want to hatch one of your Pokemon eggs? (Guilty.) Tell the Bumble world, because that is crucial. Potential BFFs want someone to go to yoga class, Crossfit or whatever else with.
What if you don’t exercise? You better love the outdoors.
(3) Share your alcohol allegiances.
This is actually very important — what kind of adult beverage do you enjoy? Are you a wine person? A craft beer enthusiast? Do you absolutely love tequila more than anything else on this earth? You must put that in your Bumble bio. If you love beer, wine and tequila, you need to rank them in order of importance. And definitely mention if you have one brewery or brand preference over another.
What if you don’t drink, or don’t have any passionate feelings about alcohol? This one is avoidable. You don’t need to say it. Just don’t mention it, and avoid profiles where the bios are exclusively wine glass emojis. For a lot of reasons.
(4) Relationship and child status.
People really want you to know what you’re getting into on Bumble, friendship wise, so explain to what degree married you are as quickly as possible. Happily married. Not married. Basically married. You have options.
And definitely be upfront about your (fur) children. If you have human children, potential friends want to know because … well, at 22, it’s hard to think about brunching with someone who has kids when you are still learning how to feed yourself. And if you have fur children, potential friends want to know because you are exactly the type of person everyone wants to be friends with. Please include a photo of your pupper for maximum impact.
What if you’re single with no (fur) children? Your bio just got a lot shorter, friend. Your type is out there too.
(5) Where are you really from?
We know you’re not from Charlotte. I’m not from Charlotte. Let’s not joke around here. Most of the Bumble users aren’t from Charlotte, and I imagine that’s because most of the Charlotteans already have a friend group. I’ve seen a few people who really grew up here — usually younger than 21 — but the young professional age group is from absolutely anywhere but here.
You’re going to need an emoji for this one. Make sure you tell the world you came from x to get to Charlotte, with the little plane emoji.
Bonus: 500 emojis in a row.
This is crucial. Emojis are the most succinct way to explain all the things you love. Shopping? Check. Dancing? Check. Traveling? Check. Squirrels? Check.
