Margarita Confessionals: A guy’s edition of the ‘enemy playbook’ for dating

It’s Margarita Monday! And Beyonce always says when you’re handed lemons, make lemonade. We tried to make podcast magic with Andy Goh, Digital Communications Specialist at the Bechtler Museum and host of Final Round Radio, this week with“The Margarita Confessionals,” a podcast for the jaded dater. It was a great conversation, but unfortunately due to a technical glitch it didn’t actually get recorded. We’ll have Andy back in the very near future, so keep an eye out for that episode, but for today you can read about some of his awesome insight (a sneak preview of his episode, you know?) coupled with our blooper reel. It’s our version of podcast lemonade. Cheers!

When I was dealing with guy drama during school and I would go to my dad for advice, he would call it giving me “The Enemy Playbook.” Not that men and women are enemies, in fact I think we all need to work together to make dating less confusing for everyone involved. But the pointers from my pops would shift my point of view. They made me realize how differently men and women can approach the same situation.

Here are a few takeaways I learned from the Goh edition of “The Enemy Playbook.”

Guys get nervous to approach you

Even though it’s 2016, we all know there’s still pressure on guys to approach women when we’re out in the wild together. You keep making eye contact with that guy standing across the brewery. Why isn’t he coming up to you? Cut the dude some slack. Andy explains that even the most seemingly self-assured men get nervous when it comes time to do the ol’ cold approach.

If you want to make the first move, you don’t need some crazy opening line

If you’re ready to take matters into your own hands and want to approach a fine specimen, no need to wrack your brain trying to think about what to say. A simple “Hey, I’m (insert your name here)” with some eye contact and a question or two about who they’re here with or what they’re drinking should do the trick. From there, really listen to what they’re saying and continue to ask engaging questions.

Yes, you really should do that thing where you debate about who’s going to split the check

It’s okay to let him pick up the check on a first date, but after you’ve been out a few times you should offer to buy something. Drinks at the next bar. An appetizer. Even if he refuses, the offer is valuable. No one wants to be with someone who automatically assumes their date will keep bankrolling outing after outing.

Breakups hit dudes hard too

When you go through a breakup, you probably rally an army of girlfriends, pick up several bottles of vino, and watch “Lemonade” on repeat until your soul feels cleansed. Unfortunately, it’s not yet as universally acceptable for a recently single guy to round up a gang of bros and talk about their feelings while they shed a tear or two.

As Andy explains on this week’s episode, a guy’s partner probably filled this emotional space in their life, so losing this person is a tough adjustment. They’re more likely to have to shoulder the breakup pain alone. Breakups suck any way you slice it, but they’re easier when you have someone to refill your wine glass.

Photo: Courtney Schramm