Girls these days are all about girl dates
A recent conversation in the office got me thinking about how the majority of my heterosexual male friends have this intense fear of (a) asking for another man’s number for social purposes, (b) going for lunch or dinner or a drink with said man and (c) hugging said man after said activity.
Which makes me wonder: How the heck do adult guys ever make friends?
Gone are the nights (I hope) of rolling into bars and bumping up against strangers slurring, “You’re my new best frienddd.” Because you’re sloshed.
Post-college, I don’t quite know what the guys are up to, but it’s apparent to me that the girls are all about girl dates. A girl date is: When one female platonically hangs out with another female to establish or cultivate a friendship.
I’m still all about Girls Night — when a gaggle of us ventures out for dinner or, say, a Magic Men Live show at The Fillmore last week to watch terribly uncoordinated buff men try to dance and recreate scenes from “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
But sometimes it takes a girl date to really get to know a new friend in an hour, or to catch up with an old friend about Really Important Life Details.
Let’s take a look at some of my top girl date spots from the past year.
(1) The occasion: Sophisticated wine sipping
The places:
Dolce Vita in NoDa. I discovered this open-air vino nirvana two days ago on a girl date. Another girl date was happening over a cheese plate and glasses of white nearby. Happiness.
Rhino Market in West End. Where I can buy a cheap-ish bottle of red and tell a friend to pull up a glass.
The Summit Room in Dilworth. It’s fun to try to swallow red wine in rocking chairs with someone I’ve just met. Keeps it light.
(2) The occasion: Conversation over coffee
Smelly Cat Coffeehouse in NoDa. This place has the greatest nooks and crannies for slouching in and it’s so peaceful I can hear my friend whispering.
Rush Espresso uptown. I like to plop down in one of the teal chairs on the sidewalk outside to people watch while chatting with an old friend.
The Mayobird: Couches are crucial for a relaxed outing. Especially when the girl date involves some computer work.
(3) The occasion: Building the friend love over lunch
Dean & DeLuca uptown/Phillips Place. I like to start a good girl date off being deliriously happy from building my own salad.
Little Spoon in Myers Park: A sweet little spot to find a (farm-to-)table for two. And to photograph your food. Friends don’t judge.
Common Market in South End. Where the patio is so casual I can catch up with my friend after her 12-mile run and my sweaty yoga class. This is the deepest form of acceptance.
(4) The occasion: Dinner on the town.
The places:
The Cowfish. Before, you know, the plague. Regardless, there’s no sense trying to look cute when chomping on a sushi roll in front of a friend. Safe space.
Bakersfield in Dilworth. Margaritas and guac are like a love language for new friendships.
(5) The occasion: Miscellaneous activities after work
The places:
My couch. Or a friend’s bed, for watching TV shows. Optimal for chit-chatting between scenes. Seriously, why is this weird for guys?
AIR. Nothing quite builds new bonds like dangling from aerial silks while attempting aerobic maneuvers. My trial class with a new friend kept me humble.
Charlotte Yoga. Sweaty self-consciousness brings everyone back to equilibrium. I even celebrated New Year’s Eve here on a girl date when I was trying to avoid men in general. So zen.
This story was originally published September 24, 2015 at 1:04 AM with the headline "Girls these days are all about girl dates."