5 lessons I had to learn in counseling for the sake of my own sanity
Maybe it’s weird, but I enjoy counseling sessions. I started plopping down on a psychologist’s couch intermittently during college (because I had anxiety issues and the sessions were free with tuition) and more recently in my adult life (because I had anxiety issues and the sessions were covered by my health insurance).
My tendency is to sit there with my notebook wide open and a pen poised to scribble down words of wisdom and fresh angles of perspective. I value having a safe, neutral party to blab to who can bring me to a point of catharsis and help me process my thoughts — and grow from it.
I get that my own anxiety is fairly mild, but Fonda Bryant, new business coordinator for health plan design company Starmark, was right when she told me, “No one is immune to having a mental illness and people here in Charlotte are no exception.”
The range of mental health conditions I’ve seen in my social circle through high school, college and after includes anxiety, substance abuse, depression and eating disorders. We’re adults now, but that doesn’t mean we’re above stress — caused by work or money or relationships. We’re adults now, but that doesn’t mean we automatically grow out of conditions, or even that we won’t grow into them.
Since World Mental Health Day will be observed Oct. 10 with a Charlotte event, Bryant shared that one in five American adults − approximately 43.7 million people − experience mental illness in a given year. About 13.6 million experience a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, major depression or bipolar disorder, in a given year.
She also shared a list of mental health services in Charlotte, many of which are free: CHS Behavioral Health, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Charlotte, MHA (Mental Health America) of Central Carolina, Cardinal Innovations, Innervison, Genesis Project1 and Promise Resource Network.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, here are five lessons I had to learn in counseling for the sake of my own sanity:
(1) You are allowed to talk about yourself. Expressing your causes of stress out loud can be the quickest way to let go of them.
(2) Drop the habits that numb out your emotions. That can be as simple as overeating or binge-watching Netflix. Acknowledge what feelings you’re avoiding and why.
(3) Stop thinking or saying the words “I should.” Stop pressuring yourself to be “different” or “better.” Accept yourself as you are, where you are.
(4) Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of human emotion.
(5) Communicating expectations will set you free. Don’t assume you know other people’s expectations of you, or that other people know your expectations of them. Open your mouth and discuss.
Find your freedom.
Flyer courtesy of Fonda Bryant
This story was originally published October 8, 2015 at 11:00 PM with the headline "5 lessons I had to learn in counseling for the sake of my own sanity."