How a woman designed a table to create gathering spaces in local communities, and where to find it
When Charlotte area design author Myquillyn Smith took out her pen a year ago and drew rough sketches of their dream outdoor space, she planned it all around one thing: a Neighbor’s Table.
Smith points to the 9 feet of Western Red Cedar handcrafted perfection—just what she dreamt of. The table design has simple lines, a farmhouse feel with thin metal supports and two sturdy benches—a style that translates to any space, Smith says. It also reflects the rustic beauty of their property, 12 acres in Midland, N.C., that used to be a sawmill.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Smith smiles, slipping onto one of the benches. “We purchased a Neighbor’s Table because we fell in love with Sarah.”
Smith met Sarah Harmeyer in Tuscany at a writer’s retreat several years ago. Since, Harmeyer launched Neighbor’s Table selling handcrafted tables with the goal of creating gathering spaces in local communities. “I love the entire purpose and story behind her company. She calls herself a people gatherer, and her dad makes every table. I mean, she put the weatherproofing on our table herself!”
The backyard where it started
Neighbor’s Table started in 2013 in Dallas, Texas, launched out of Harmeyer’s passion to give others the fulfilling experience she had recently found—people gathering in her own backyard. Single and new to the area, Harmeyer says she knew none of her neighbors and spent all her time on the run, working more than full-time and extremely busy otherwise. Then, a good friend challenged her to find her most natural gift, slow her pace and connect.
“I am naturally a people gatherer. When I thought back to the best moments of my life, I always thought about the table and getting to create an experience with people and a connection,” Harmeyer said. “I said OK, it’s going to be a table—and I have a small house so I had to go outside with it.”
Harmeyer’s dad, Lee Harmeyer, headed to their family barn, and in early 2012 they put his handmade table in her backyard. Harmeyer strung chandeliers from oak branches overhead, put invitations in her neighbors’ mailbox and brainstormed a simple menu. That night, 91 people showed up.
“I set a goal to serve 500 people around the table that year, just one dinner party after the other. I was new to Dallas so I didn’t even know 500 people,” Harmeyer chuckles. “I hit my goal on Thanksgiving day that year.”
Harmeyer says it was the best year of her life. To date, more than 3,000 people have shared a meal at her table.
That next year, prompted by a friend, Harmeyer says she began musing if their tables were supposed to reach beyond her own backyard. “Maybe there are other people wired like me that are people gatherers?”
She asked her dad if he was up for it—and they’ve been building tables ever since. Their tables are now in 27 states, and Harmeyer hand delivers each one.
A delivery and a party
It was a chilly evening in April 2018 when Harmeyer rolled up to Smith’s 1987 farmhouse house with their Neighbor’s Table. Smith’s husband, Chad, and three teenage sons helped unload the pieces, and they all started building in the dark.
“Sarah had her toolbox, and she knew just what she was doing,” Smith says, adding that the table arrived in four pieces: the top, the base and the two benches.
The Smiths placed their Neighbor’s Table at the bottom of their stone steps but also carefully crafted the patio dimensions with options, so they could position the table next to the working fireplace in the fall. “The magic of North Carolina weather is that all you need is a fire and you can host outside year round.”
The next day, Harmeyer headed to the Druid Hills neighborhood just north of Uptown to assemble more tables. As part of an initiative sponsored by the Next Door App, Walmart, Real Simple, Feeding America and Neighbor’s Table, five communities across the nation were selected to receive a table and foster a significant conversation on hunger. Charlotte launched the event at the Druid Hills neighborhood, which was nominated by Nadine Ford, a resident of Druid Hills and board member with Friendship Trays, Charlotte’s Meals on Wheels organization that delivers meals to the elderly and infirm.
“We had an honest conversation about hunger and that the people in Charlotte who are leading the fight against hunger have never been hungry. At the table we asked, ‘Who here has been hungry?’ And more hands did not go up than did,” Hunt says. “It was very real and raw.”
Hunt said roughly 20 people from different walks of life came around the table, including a chef, a couple of urban farmers, police, clergymen, Kay Carter, CEO of Second Harvest Food Bank of Metrolina, an editor from I — and more. “We saw neighbors sitting at the table who might not ever have connected in that way,” Harmeyer says.
Afterwards, a block party was thrown for the surrounding neighborhoods including fare by the OooWee BBQ food truck and entertainment for families. Two Neighbor’s Tables and four benches now sit in the Druid Hills community garden.
“We weren’t going to solve hunger in one conversation but told them to come back and gather and continue the conversations,” Harmeyer says.
A table for celebrations
Neighbor’s Tables are also a place for celebrations, according to Renee and J.J. Swope who recently moved from South Charlotte to Cornelius. The duo scored the first Neighbor’s Table in North Carolina, but just last month the Swopes hosted a highlight event: their two Neighbor’s Tables were the centerpiece for their son Joshua’s wedding reception.
“We got barrels and put cement and dirt in them to string up lights so it would have a fun and festive feeling to it. We laid branches on the tables and small vases with hydrangeas—it was simple and elegant,” Swope said.
Going forward, the Swopes plan to host a monthly pancake breakfast at the table. Behind where the tables sit in their spacious backyard is the word “together,” spelled out in metal letters.
“We want our kids to grow up remembering we are a family that gathered around the table but that we also invited others,” says Renee Swope, mom of three. “My favorite thing about a table is that no one is higher or lower than another. We are all at eye level, and that symbolizes we are all valuable and our stories are worth sharing.”
The Practicals
Swope says when Harmeyer delivered their table in July 2015, they picked her brain on the practicals and mentality behind hosting. She learned that Harmeyer greets people in the driveway, memorizes their names and takes time to introduce everyone before dinner, saying one thing about each person.
Swope says she also learned to use the Neighbor’s Table wooden tokens with assignments including cleaning dishes, filling cups with ice and bringing out the rolls so everybody participates. “Sarah gives everybody a role so they feel this is their table—not just that they are a guest but are part of the gathering.”
It also reduces the host’s load, so you can really be present, Swope says.
Just seeing her Neighbor’s Table in her yard is a gentle reminder to invite people over Smith says. Smith says she’s also learning to make it simple, to be spontaneous.
“All of us long to host and sometimes we make it too hard. Focus on one thing, keep everything else normal,” Smith says. For example, for a gathering Smith says she makes a fun drink but keeps the snacks simple. “It’s not just about the table, it’s more about the people.”
Smith, author of “The Nesting Place,” and “Cozy Minimalist Home” (to be released in October 2018), says looking ahead she plans to use the table to host parties for her online home decor classes, which all echo her theme: it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
“One vision with the backyard is to do seasonal parties. You better believe it won’t be perfect.” Smith laughs. “Whatever I teach, I want to model.”
Harmeyer agrees. “Pinterest has destroyed us a bit thinking that everything has to be executed flawlessly. I say make it about people. You can even have ice cream sandwiches at the table.”
Harmeyer says her goal is to have a Neighbor’s Table in every state by 2020. But she stresses her goal is always fostering connection.
“My hope is for connection. In our culture more things are separating us, but sometimes the table helps us to find those common threads. I can sit at the table across from somebody so different than me and am always surprised by how many ways there are to connect. A meal is a natural way to do that,” Harmeyer says, adding: “Especially in our backyard.”
This story first ran in the June 24 edition of Home Design by the Charlotte Observer.
This story was originally published June 24, 2018 at 10:43 PM.