Johnny Manziel is coming to Charlotte for a 1pm Sunday kickoff against the Panthers.
In standard ESPN fantasy football leagues, Manziel had exactly 0 fantasy points last week. Yikes. His football skillz may need some work, but his party skillz are solid.
We love Johnny. He’s exciting. Below is our prediction of his Charlotte post-game party lineup.
After a sack by Luuuuuke, Johnny overhears some Panthers talking about where to go after the game – they mention Kuechly’s regular spot. Johnny remembers and heads there first.
1st stop – Cowbell:
Cowbell is cool and all, but Johnny’s looking for something a little more high class. He doesn’t know about Urban Sip and Fahrenheit is too long of a walk.
2nd stop – Ritz Bar:
Even though he’s got some family money and signed a four-year $8.25mil contract, Johnny gets tired of paying $6 for a Corona. He’s craving some deviled eggs and draft beer.
3rd stop – Peculiar Rabbit:
Now Johnny’s looking for something a little more chill. Too many people knew him at Peculiar Rabbit. He needs something with solid outdoor seating and a heady vibe.
4th stop – Philosopher’s Stone:
Yikes, way too trendy and granola for Johnny. He needs a sports bar. Badly. Somewhere he can order buckets of light beer and talk SEC.
5th stop – Angry Ale’s:
Now the party has started. He’s looking for an old school spot with other fratty guys.
6th stop – Selwyn Pub:
After he realizes that Michael Jordan is in the back patio area at Selwyn and that girls don’t like talking to guys at Selwyn, he winds up where people wind up late at night – singing Mariah Carey Christmas songs.
7th stop – Jeff’s Bucket Shop:
What do you think? Is our Johnny Football party lineup accurate? Tweet or email us suggestions. We’ll update the post with your comments. @Charlotte_Five
Photos: Map data: Google & David T. Foster, III / Charlotte Observer (cover)