Road-tripping northbound out of Charlotte is like purgatory.

Editor’s Note: The following events are based on the true story of Katie Toussaint’s recent journey out of Charlotte.

This is how you know you have caught I-85 NB out of Charlotte at just the wrong time: You barely move for an hour and everywhere there is suffering. Someone’s sleek silver car is ripped apart on the shoulder, flanked by emergency vehicles. A blue van is shaking along in the right lane, hazard lights flashing. Orange work zone cones and brake lights spark up from the concrete like flames from the underworld. Your brain hurts as your thoughts jump between  “Do I give up now and try again tomorrow?” and “I’ve made a huge mistake.” Pieces of your soul disintegrate as the ETA on your GPS tacks on minute … after minute. Your molars hurt from chomping on your gum so hard and you take note that a rest stop is 1 3/4 miles away but who cares? You’ll never get there. You are in purgatory.

Traffic can be awful around rush hour on that stretch of road, especially on a Friday. Need to simmer down? Here are a few temporary escape routes.

Exit 43

– Honeybaked Ham Café. Open until 6 p.m. with items like a Honeybaked Ham classic on a croissant. Protein is necessary for the body’s recovery. And you are broken.

– IKEA. Because why not take on two soul-sucking activities at once?

Exit 49

– Great Wolf Lodge. Go splish-splash around in the indoor water park. #stressrelief

– Concord Mills. You’ve been sitting so long you’re having weird fishing fantasies. Better head to Bass Pro Shops.

Exit 52

– R&R BBQ. A locally-owned, Southern-style food coma is better than what you’re going through.

– Marathon gas station. This is not a sprint. This is a marathon. (Do not run out of gas.)

Exit 54

– Joe’s Sport Bar. Scarf down two appetizers for $10 on weekdays from 4-7 p.m. Prime rush hour.

– Starbucks. You need to energize that foot that you keep jamming onto the brake. But: avoid the brisket.

If you do choose to continue your traumatic northbound trek, you will likely find freedom around exit 58 — right where all of the southbound drivers are slamming on their brakes. You could feel sorry for them but your soul no longer knows empathy or joy. All that’s left to do is spit out your gum and start your playlist over — you’ve listened for one hour and you haven’t heard a word.

Photos: Katie Toussaint, Giphy.com

It took Katie Toussaint 71 minutes to get out of Charlotte on Friday to begin her five-hour trek north. When she’s not sitting in shock in I-85 traffic, Katie edits for CharlotteFive and community news at the Charlotte Observer. Follow her on  Twitter @katietoussaint.

This story was originally published October 13, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Road-tripping northbound out of Charlotte is like purgatory.."